The Epic of Bandana Man
by EpicInTheLibrary
Summary: It was going to be one of those average days...
1. An Average Day

_Before any of you ask, this is not supposed to be serious. I'm not trying anything with this, there's no subliminal messaging or anything (well, there might be a little, but that's no the point) and this really isn't supposed to amount to anything. I just recently saw this episode and wanted to do something amazing with "Bandana Man." Criticize me if you will, I'm inspired. So that being said, enjoy. Most chapters will be short, and there won't be many. It's just a short little super hero story. X3_

* * *

It was going to be one of those average days, James thought. Warm sunlight combed through the blinds and striped his bed sheets, almost blinding him when he woke up and opened his eyes. He had gotten a wonderful sleep, thank you very much- besides, when didn't he? It would never be of his own accord, that was for sure. If he were ever to lose beauty sleep, he would be the last to blame, and everyone knew that. So yes. An average morning, down to the way his back arched as he stretched lazily, toes curling and fingers spread wide.

It wasn't very average, however, that Carlos was missing from his bed. In all normality on a sunny Saturday it would be impossible to get him up before at least noon, because the weekends were the only times the four of them got any breaks from the evils of Rocque Records and its terrifying dictator.

James decided to pass this as a rare occurrence- there wasn't any special occasion today, right? Nope. Because it was an average day. Minus the Carlos actually being up in the morning thing. So he decided he would very much like some breakfast. Cereal, toast- something _average._ He didn't want to jinx anything. But before his morning meal- well, the only thing more important than breakfast was, of course, making himself pretty. No questions asked. James shuffled tiredly to the dresser next to the full-length mirror he'd insisted on having installed in the room, reaching blindly for his prized lucky comb. When his fingers landed on nothing but the solid wood surface of the dresser, he frowned and turned to look for the problem.

He nearly screamed to find that his lucky comb was nowhere in sight. Instead he made a horrified noise that caught in the back of his throat and felt the panic seize upon him, almost freezing him in place. His lucky comb was _gone_, and in its place was a piece of paper folded neatly into a small rectangle. Drawn on the outside of the paper was a music note (an eighth note, James was proud to remember) with a swirled design on the oval instead of just solid black. Feeling uneasy, James picked it up and unfolded it.

It was a note, that much was clear. The kind of note criminals leave behind, a ransom note. It was not handwritten; letters cut from magazines and newspapers spelled out words that made James's heart sink lower and his stomach twist more tightly. The note read as follows:

_James Diamond- _

_We have indeed stolen your precious "lucky comb." You may have also noticed that your roommate is missing as well. We know you have a direct alliance with the infamous Bandana Man. Bring him to the below address and your comb and friend are both guaranteed. Do not try anything. We're watching._

At the bottom of the page was an address that undoubtedly led to some kind of horrifying torture chamber, probably surrounded by a crocodile-filled moat. James felt sick. Some twisted group of hooligans had his lucky comb? Who did they think they were? _No one_ messed with his _lucky comb._ Oh, and Carlos. This was an outrage, and by golly, he was going to do something about it. Someone was going to pay. James strode to the closet and opened the door, pushing all the clothes on hangers aside to reveal the nails hammered into the wall behind them. Countless purple square-shaped cloths hung from them, decorated with intricate white patterns. Reaching forward and grasping one, he pulled it in and clutched it to his chest, raising his chin and closing his eyes. _Oh yeah._

This was a job for Bandana Man. Definitely. Someone was going to _pay._


	2. Of Helmets and Hoagies

**_Chapter's so short I wanna cry. I'm trying not to give everything away, though, so it couldn't have been any longer. Having a hard time keeping them in character as well as making a joke of the story, though. :/_**

_

* * *

_

_It was all a blur, it happened so fast. Or maybe I was just on a sugar high. Doesn't matter, I guess._

_All I know is that it was a long day- Gustavo had tons of methods of torture he was just delighted to try out on us- and I was __**so**__ ready to just pass out in bed and sleep in 'till nine in the afternoon Saturday. I was gone before my head hit the pillow._

_Then I was up again, startled awake by some loud noise, still echoing in my ears. I jolted into a sitting position, grabbing for my helmet and slapping it over my head. What __**was**__ that? Did someone come out for a midnight snack and knock over the whole fridge? Because that was loud. I glanced over at James's bed, wondering if maybe he had been woken up too, but of course, he needed his beauty sleep, and naturally he was an extremely deep sleeper. _

_The room was pitch black; I couldn't see a thing. Not even the moonlight was there to provide some kind of dim illumination. I could feel my heart pounding against my rib cage, hear it in my ears, drumming almost painfully. It was going to give me away. Everything was still, silent, dark. Then there was the creak of the floorboards underneath the carpet from really close to my bed. My instincts took over and I leapt, a pretty hardcore battle cry issuing from my __**soul**__. I was ready for anything I got._

_What I got was a hoagie stuffed in my open mouth and fingers pinching my nose closed. Wait- what? I realized when I tried to take a breath of surprise. The sandwich was like three times bigger than my mouth. I began to panic. Who was this, and who did they think they were? Stuffing a sandwich the size of a chihuahua in a guy's mouth and then plugging his nose? Not cool, man._

I could die.

_The thought struck me like midnight bells, gonging like nothing ever before and it was like, "Hello, wake up!" and I was like, "Okay, I'm awake, what now?" It was freaking me out, and even moreso because I could feel the world getting fuzzy. My thoughts were getting less frantic and more sedated and that just made me even more desperate and I __**tried**__ to throw the guy off but nothing was working, and my body was going numb, and I was getting weaker and my eyes were closing..._

_I threw one last vaguely desperate look in the general direction of James's bed, hoping that maybe all my struggling or perhaps my battle cry woke him up and he'd come save me in the nick of time, but no such thing happened. His corner of the room remained stubbornly silent and I was swept into the cold, terrifying, even darker abyss of unconsciousness. _


	3. Don't Lick a Superhero

Cape, check. Mask, check. Determination? Oh, _more_ than check. Bandana Man was gonna take these guys _down._

_That's right._

_No one_ messed with James. Or Carlos. Bandana Man adjusted his mask and pocketed the ransom note he'd received from James and headed out into the livingroom, striding proud and strong. He was met with the sight of Mrs. Knight, Katie, Kendall and Logan all enjoying breakfast around the table. Everyone looked up upon his entrance, and each pair of eyes widened in awe at the sight.

"Bandana Man?" Kendall spoke in surprise, obviously startled by his sudden unexpected appearance. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here," Bandana Man began, "in the name of beauty and short people."

"What?"

Bandana Man sighed and approached the table, pulling the note from his pocket and handing it to the perplexed Kendall. After briefly acknowledging the musical note drawn on the front, he unfolded and read it, gargantuan eyebrows furrowing as he got farther down the page. Worry was etched into his face as he handed it wordlessly to Logan. "Do you have any idea who it is?"

"No," Bandana Man admitted proudly. "I suppose I'll just have to find out."

"But it could be a trap," Kendall gasped.

"Yes." Bandana Man closed a fist over his heart and turned his eyes to the stars in a dramatic pose of glory and all things right. "But that's a risk I'm willing to take."

"So..." Logan started skeptically, starting to hand the paper back before having it snatched from his fingers by Katie, who was immediately told off by her mother. "Where's James?"

Bandana Man was at his side in a second, hand clapped over his mouth. Logan glared at him but he shook his head. "_Shh._ Didn't you read the note? They're _watching._" Glancing around surreptitiously, he leaned in closer and stage-whispered, "_James_ is my secret undercover agent. My partner in un-crime. He's going to follow me on my mission and be my backup. You know, on the off chance that anyth- Hey!" Bandana Man whipped his hand back in disgust, wiping it vigorously on Logan's pant leg while Logan returned his glare easily.

"'Un-crime?'"

"You don't _lick_ a superhero!" Bandana Man cried in distress. "That's just _wrong._"

"Seriously."

"You know what, I'm just gonna go save Carlos. I don't need to stay around chatting with the likes of _you._" He stood hotly and snatched the ransom note from Katie, beginning to leave the room. "You know, one day when I'm super famous, people are gonna say, 'Wow, Bandana Man, you're incredible; you must have amazing friends!' and you know what I'm gonna say? 'Oh, they are- except Logan. He licked me.' And they're gonna be all, 'Oh yeah, he sounds like a jerk, we should hate him!' and then all the world will hate you. How do you like _that?_"

He never gave Logan a chance to say how he liked that, because he slammed the door shut on his way out and stalked into the elevator, violently pressing the button for floor level.

He had _things_ to do.

* * *

_Ugh, the uber short chapters are really starting to bug me. It's like, I started out waaaaaay back when reading Harry Potter with all its forty-page-long chapters and I guess that influenced me and now I try to make my chapters as long as possible, and these chapters are barely even a page long. It's almost frustrating, but that would be retarded, and besides, this isn't actually serious, right? It's an epic tale. And many short chapters make for an epic tale, am I right? (no.) /rant_

_Oh, and I had this amazing dream about a week ago where Kendall and James made out for the sake of the band or something and it was so incredible I could cry. Anyway. I'm trying to cut back on the lengthy author's notes. :/_


	4. Ghetto Cab Driver

Bandana Man managed to get a taxi to take him to the place with no extra charge. Apparently it was extremely far away from the Palm Woods and required five extra dollars. Five freaking extra dollars? He was a superhero. He shouldn't have been charged at _all._ These drivers drove a hard bargain, however, and Bandana Man just couldn't let Carlos down. Or James's lucky comb. There was just too much at stake.

The whole ride there the taxi driver kept giving him strange looks through the rear-view mirror, and when Bandana Man told him his name in an irresistible low dramatic voice, he didn't say anything more. It was rather confusing to him that he didn't know who he was already, but he supposed that just proved him innocent- if he were one of those goons from the evil force that held Carlos- and James's lucky comb- hostage, he would have known _exactly _who he was. Or- or _maybe_ he really _was_ in cahoots with them, and was at that moment driving him towards sure _doom._

Bandana Man's thought were interrupted by the ringing of the cell phone James had given him _just in case_. Of course, on the off chance that anyth-

"Hello?"

"James? _Please_ tell me you did _not_ go out in public dressed like _that._"

"_Logan?_" Bandana Man's frustration reared up with his newfound grudge against Logan and he snapped, "_No, _this is not _James._ _James_ is my super undercov-" He cut himself off in the fear that the driver was in fact working for the baddies. He cleared his throat and tried again. "This is Bandana Man _on_ James's phone. We are two separate people, do _not_ get us mixed up. And besides, I'm still mad at you. Remember? The licking of the hand of the big famous superhero? _Not_ cool. I'm gonna make the world hate you, _Logan,_ and then you're gonna regr-"

"James, shut _up. _You're ridiculous. Come home so we can handle this in a _mature_ fashion. As in get the help of _professionals._"

"Oh my _god,_ Logan, you are so-" Bandana Man turned to address the taxi cab driver, huffing in exasperated fury. "Look, can you believe- I'm gonna put him on speaker. This guy is _such_ a jerk- just _listen _to his _voice._" Logan's furious protests to this new notion were suddenly made very clear as Bandana Man pressed the speaker button on James's phone.

"-_swear_, James, you're so- why do you feel the need to do these things? Why can't you just-"

"I'm _sorry,_ James isn't _here._ He's actually being _helpful_ and not arguing with the biggest most important soon-to-be _famous_ superhero- but if he were here, I'd say he'd think you were being retarded and wasting time. Yeah, that's _right._ _Ha,_" Bandana Man snapped the phone closed. If Logan was gonna be like that, then fine by him. It wasn't his fault if little _Logie_ had no faith in his amazing ability. Man, and Logan was so short. Maybe everything within him was compressed into his little five-foot three or whatever and left no room for the acceptance and rightful appreciation that _normal_ people were born with. Yeah, take _that,_ Logan. Sucks to be _you._

And what was all that with the James-calling? It was more than obvious that they were _two different people._ Different names, different looks- even if they were both gorgeous- and different occupations? Logan must have been really confused. Or stupid. But Logan was a genius, so maybe he was just confused. Really, really confused. It was so frustrating to have to deal with that. Did Superman have to put up with whiny leprechauns? Did Mr. Fantastic ever have to cope with being called two different people? _No._

"Doesn't he sound like the biggest most annoying little prick in the world?" Bandana Man demanded angrily. The driver raised his eyebrows at him through the rear-view mirror and shook his head, shrugging.

"If you want my honest opinion you'll have to pay extra." Right. Maybe not.

"Well he is. You should hate him."

"Whatever, kid."

Bandana Man crossed his arms and ducked his head with a nasty scowl over his face, wishing they would just get to the stupid place already so he could kick those guys' butts, save Carlos, retrieve James's lucky comb, and get back so he could tell Logan just exactly what he thought of him. He was gonna give him a _piece_ of his mind.

* * *

_Sorry, Logan. I don't mean to offend you with my derogatory terms that emphasize your height, but theyr'e already so mean to you on the show, right? Lol._

_The chapters all seem to be ending the same way, guys. And there are so many italics it's not even funny. Stupid me. That cab driver is ghetto. I don't even care what you say he's ghetto. He's now the best character in the history of forever: ghetto cab driver. Don't forget it._

_Oh and yes, I may have said I was gonna write some Carlos rape a while ago, some of you may remember that. Just know I'm still working on it. Two chapters, and the rape is in the second. Sssoorrrryyyyyy._

_Also I hate this chapter. With a firey passion. Because it wasn't supposed to be like this, but Logan ruined it all with his dumb skepticism. So blame him for killing the mood. Kinda like I did in soccer today lol. _

_Peace out._


	5. And You Smell Like a

_My head hurts. Me duele la cabeza. Wait, why am I thinking in Spanish? What is this? I feel light-headed. My bed doesn't feel very comfortable. Or parallel to the ground. Is this some kind of freaky dream? Why does my head feel so light? Where's my helmet?_

Carlos jolted to full alertness. His helmet. Where was it and why wasn't it on his head? He reached up instinctively to feel for it- at least, he tried to. His hands kind of weren't moving. Panic washed through him. Okay. Okay, handle this maturely. Remain calm, don't frea-

"Where's my helmet?" he screeched as loud as he could, the panic blatant in his voice. Immediately pain flared in his head and he groaned, trying once again to reach up to hold it. It didn't work.

"Shut up!" he heard from somewhere in front of him. Man, it was dark. Almost as dark as-

He remembered. The refrigerator, the battle cry, the hoagie, the chihuahua- it was all coming back now. So what happened? He lost consciousness. Because some jerk cut off his air. This was so not cool. Where was he, anyway?

Oh wait, still super dark. But hang on- there were tiny little specks of light, pinpricks, dim illumination. It was like stars. Carlos liked stars. They were like little sparklies in the sky. Except he didn't think these were stars. So what were they?

His head was beginning to clear, his senses creeping back to his awareness. If he turned his head, he could feel cloth and a knot. A blindfold, maybe? Probably. He could also taste something weird. It was wet- soaked- and when he turned his head again he realized that he could feel not only one, but two knots in the back of his head. Or technically it was still one. The other was more on the back of his neck. Tied so that the cloth was in his mouth. Oh, a gag. And now that he thought about it, his hands were tied behind his back. So _that's_ why he couldn't move them to hold his head.

So then what was this? Was he starring in some kind of movie? Like, the kind where the pretty girl gets captured and just when she's about to be eaten by alligators, the hero comes in all glory-like and saves her? Man, probably not, because if he thought about it logically, it would be more likely for James to star in a movie, and if they were talking about anyone pretty, it would almost definitely be James. Carlos was _so _not the part.

So that meant this was real?

_Cool._

To Carlos it felt like he was in a car. A moving car. That would explain why he was sitting up. The seats weren't very comfy. This called for a complaint.

"Excuse me, Mr. Driver Yelly Man Sir," he started, unsure of what the appropriate title would be, throwing 'sir' on the end just to be safe. His attempt failed, however, as the gag effectively muffled his words. _Man_, he hated it when he was gagged and unable to speak.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" the same voice from before demanded. He didn't sound very friendly. Still, Carlos ventured forth.

"Just where exactly are we going, I just want to know."

"Shut it or I'm throwing you out in the middle of the street."

"Are we almost there?" he continued, determined to not be sitting in the car for hours of nothing to do except try to keep his own spit from dribbling down his chin, because _ew._

"Shut up, kid." This guy was obviously very frustrated, but Carlos wasn't going to let this stop him. After a minute he sighed and shifted, his wrists beginning to get sore from being pressed between himself and the seat behind him, all bent at an awkward angle.

"Are we there yet?"

"Don't start with me, boy."

Carlos remained silent, trying to think. It was kind of hard, though, because this was actually excruciatingly boring. His hands were hurting and scooting forward was too risky because he already tried that and then the car turned a corner or something and Carlos fell over and it was really hard to get himself back up and he did _not_ want to do that again. He also didn't want to be thrown out into the street so he tried to be as quiet as he could. The occasional "Are we there yet?" did manage to pop out, however. It was taking _for-ev-er._ And Carlos had to pee. He did not like being blindfolded, gagged and tied up in the back of an anonymous cranky driver's car with nothing to do, his wrists hurting, and the need to pee. So he decided to sing.

"_Oh,_ you're such a turd, oh _yeah,_ a giant turd, and you _look_ like a turd and you _sme-ell _like a-"

"_Shut up!_" the driver roared so loud it made Carlos's head throb.

"But I have to pee!"

"Shut up and hold it or you won't _have_ anything to pee with!"

Carlos shrieked in horror and shut his mouth. He remained silent for the rest of the trip.

* * *

_I **LOVE** THE TURD SONG LOLOLOL I WANT IT SO BAD FFFFFFF _

_And I love writing Carlos. X3 I tried not to use so many italics this time, and I think I did a pretty sufficient job. Also this chapter was meant to have a different point, but I never really got to it and then it ended and I was like "wait what" and yeah. _

_I seriously love that song. I miss it. ;3; Also I hate that first paragraph up there. I don't even know, I wanted to say something in Spanish lolol. And I'm still developing the rape. I don't know why I feel the need to mention that, but I am. 8D_

_Oh, and just curious, does anyone else name their documents on here funny names just becuase? Because I do that. And then I get confused because I don't recognize the name lol. _


	6. Holy Manspray

The cab guy drove off the second Bandana Man got out of the car- without asking for an autograph or anything. He thought that strange, but whatever. He had work to do.

The place looked to be an old abandoned warehouse. Cliché, right? Well too bad. Carlos was here somewhere... wasn't he? Looking around, all Bandana Man could see was an empty room. They could possibly be _invisible_... but somehow Bandana Man didn't think that was very likely. He was confused. This _was_ the right address, right? Or did that cab driver just dump him on the side of the road? He didn't charge any extra, but if he was just trying to get rid of him, he wouldn't want to stick around even to get more money, would he? This place could be _rigged._ He could be in mortal danger. There could be a bomb right underneath that table over there, ticking away right this very secon-

Wait, there was something on that table. Framed by the light filtering in through the window, it looked like it was meant for him. Bandana Man raced over to the table, suspenseful anticipation building inside him. He almost smashed both himself and the table through the window, but managed to skid to a stop with only the minor casualty of jamming his stomach into the side of the table. Oh well, his abs could take it. Besides, that wasn't important right now. He focused on the object placed on the table, eyes widening when he realized what it was.

Carlos's red wristwatch.

Holy manspray.

Bandana Man practically ripped the folded paper that accompanied the wristwatch open. Another words-pasted note, this time shorter.

_You thought it was going to be simple?_

There was a second address at the bottom, along with another swirly music note drawn. What was that even supposed to mean, anyway? Was it symbolic in any way? Or was this person just a lunatic? Bandana Man was thinking it was more the latter.

So they wanted to lead him on a wild goose chase, did they? Well if they thought that was gonna throw him, they were sadly mistaken. He was up for the challenge. There were too many things at stake to just throw it away. And besides, Carlos was now without the time. That was just an insult. Slipping the second note into his belt and slapping the watch over his wrist, Bandana Man composed himself and adjusted his mask. He was up for the challenge. New address? Easy peasy. There was only one problem.

How was he going to get a taxi from practically out in the middle of nowhere?

* * *

_Okay this chapter is so short I'm gonna cry. I wanted to make it longer, but I couldn't fit anything in without it seeming awkward and unnecessary. So here it is. What a rip-off, huh? Maybe I'll post another one later today to compensate._


	7. Bandanas are Always the Answer

Apparently a taxi wasn't the answer.

Bandanas were always the answer.

Bandana Man took hold of the bandanas hanging off of his arms in his fingers, holding them up over his head and waving them around to get attention. There were plenty cars driving past (about three per minute) and every one of them should have stopped for him. Apparently, however, none of them had any respect and all drove quickly past, and he _knew_ they saw him, too. Most of them were staring openly though the windows.

Well, that was just an insult. Bandana man was starting to think he'd have to start a hate _club_ in which Logan would be the leader. Because he was the worst, though these people were also pretty bad. Bandana Man wondered whether it was worse to lick a superhero or ignore one.

There was no time to ponder such things right now. He needed a ride to this place _now,_ and he wasn't going to wait around for one.

Long story short, the next truck that came by acquired a new passenger.

It was one of those semis, and the back wasn't closed all the way, and it was driving fairly slowly, so Bandana Man was able to jump on fairly easily. He would have liked to say it was because of his incredible skill and the precision of the angle and units of bandana and velocity and distance and man, Logan should really have been the one doing this. But he got on the truck, and it was magical, and he was on his way to the evil domain of the heartless soulless demons holding Carlos (and James's lucky comb) captive.

If only he knew where R273 West 429 could possibly be.

* * *

_I'm the worst. I'm so sorry, this has to be the shortest thing I've ever written. And the most pointless. I just got so stuck on this chapter, and then when I finally got off my butt to write it, it just ended? I don't even know. I know what I'm doing for the next chapter, and then the one after that, but then I'm not sure. I'll have to figure that out quickly._

_There will most likely be another chapter up today to compensate for the sheer shortness of it, or maybe some reatarded porn I made up the other night watching the show. And sorry, Emma, I know I said there was going to be a magic carpet, but I bailed last minute and decided that a truck would be SO much better -dies- I think the address makes up for it. _

_Next chapter will have Carlos. X3_


	8. Creepy Cold Medieval Dungeons

When the car finally stopped, Carlos was about ready to cry. Well, sort of. He just needed to pee _really_ badly. Seriously, it sucked. And his wrists were gonna snap off any second. And the gag was bothering him.

If he were to put it in short, he would say that being kidnaped for real wasn't as cool as he thought it would be. Then he would say that technically it didn't count as "kidnaping" because _hello,_ he so wasn't a kid anymore. So what would it be classified as, then? That gave him something to think about.

Back to the point; the car stopped and Carlos was gonna die from the dire need to pee and then the driver got out of the front seat and slammed the front door shut and then the door next to Carlos opened and he was being yanked out by the arm. He was a little unsteady on his feet and would have gone crashing immediately to the ground if it weren't for the iron grip on his arm. His captor didn't give him time to regain his footing, tugging him along so that he was barely walking for himself.

"Hey, um," Carlos started uneasily. "Can I like... pee now?"

"Shut up." They continued on in silence. It was now that Carlos wished he weren't blindfolded, because he would really have liked to see where they were going. For all he knew, he could be about to walk into a wall. And this time he didn't have his helmet to protect him. The reminder of the terrible absence set his nerves on end, and he was starting to wish he could just open his eyes to find James hogging the mirror with his lucky comb in hand. It never happened, however, so he just set himself the grueling task of doing everything in his power to not pee his pants. Really, this was just _wrong._ It was almost worse than not having his helmet, but let's face it, nothing was worse than _that._

He really wanted his helmet.

The walking continued for what felt like hours, possibly because he had no goal to focus on getting to. It was just unbearable seconds ticking by at a pace that was slightly slower than a snail's average speed. Which, thinking about it, was really, really slow. Left, right, left, right, on and on, forever and ever, a never-ending cycle, and he would be stuck doing it forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and-

Suddenly there was the clang of something large and metallic, and his blindfold and gag were being whipped off (which hurt, actually). A hand smacked into the middle of his back and he was shoved forward so hard he lost his footing stumbling forward and crashed to the ground, barely avoiding getting his face crushed by the cold, hard cemented ground. No, scratch that, _stoned_ ground.

"_Dude!_" Carlos shrieked indignantly, struggling to push himself up without the use of his hands. Another deep metallic clang rang out, and Carlos looked up to see a gate. A closed gate. And he was behind it. What did they think he was, a _dog? _

Okay, okay, _wow,_ that fall did _nothing_ to help his headache. He groaned in half-frustration, half-pain. So he has a horrible day, tries to get some sleep to make up for it, and this is what he gets? A splitting headache was _not_ part of the deal. Before realizes and gets a chance to see his captor, he's gone and Carlos is alone in some kind of medieval-themed, like, _dungeon_, apparently. It was like a cell of some sort, the bars all rusted and green and mossy and gross, and the cell itself was worse. It seemed to be underground, or at least very close to a swampy river. The walls were streaked with water leaks and on the wet areas moss and mildew and lichen grew and it was all just so old and gross and Carlos _really_ didn't want to be in here. Outside the chamber was an equally dank and moisture-filled hallway, dimly lit with a few lamps hanging here and there. Carlos couldn't see far down the hall, and didn't feel much like pressing his face against those bars to see more. So he just sighed heavily and sat cross-legged on the floor, still needing to pee like never before and so excruciatingly alone.

"Carlos?"

Or maybe not as alone as he thought.

He turned to find the source of the voice, extremely familiar and feminine and coming from his right, squinting through the poor lighting before his eyes widened in recognition as he registered the sight before him.

"Kelly?"

* * *

_Are you ready? I HATE THIS CHAPTER. There we go. (Oh and look, I actually did what I said I would for once! 8D)_

_It didn't turn out like I less-than planned and I don't know, I just don't like it. But that's okay, I don't have any better ideas. _

_So Kelly! Yeah, she gets to be in here. Because I like her, that's why. Also the character interaction between them in Big Time Jobs is kind of great. And I love it. Especially when the "foam" drops onto her purse and she gives it this kind of horrified look. And then Carlos just comes running by and it's like "FFFFFFF" and I don't know why I'm so obsessed with random parts that don't even mean anything but I am okay so here you go. _

_Also Gustavo is so incredibly gay for Kendall. Just throwing that out there._

_OH AND NEW EPISODE FRIDAY I'M GONNA DIE OKAY (I know there was something else I was gonna say here... but I prefer to keep the author's note SHORTER than the actual chapter, and with these barely-chapters, it's kind of hard to do that. :/ )_


	9. Rich

The truck had a couch. Okay, it had a freaking _couch._ Was this a moving truck or something, because you could live in here. Seriously. There was a couch, a mini-fridge, a T.V. (despite the fact that none of these luxuries were actually plugged into anything), and countless cardboard boxes stacked up to the roof, a factor that kind of dummed down the amazingness of the couch with the suspended fear that it was possible for the truck to turn a particularly sharp corner thus sending all the boxes and their most likely heavy contents toppling down over the couch, but you know, lying sprawled across the couch with the opposable option of _walking_ to R273 West 429 was so worth it. The place could have been a little more air-conditioned, though.

Bandana Man relaxed against the pillows and crossed his feet on the opposite armrest, holding his left wrist out in front of his face and examining Carlos's wristwatch. Now that he looked at it, it was really, really shiny. Bandana Man rather enjoyed shiny things. If he tried extra hard, he could see himself in the somewhat reflective face of the watch. Man, and he looked good. He adjusted his mask just slightly before relaxing once more and leaning his head back into the pillow situated beneath his head.

Now, he didn't exactly remember just when he had fallen asleep, but he was suddenly startling awake when there was a deafening rattling and clattering resounding from everywhere in the truck bed. Or whatever these things were called. Light poured in through the sudden opening of the back door-thing, a shadow falling over Bandana Man. He looked up to see the silhouette of an admittedly large man, probably about fifty or so years older than Bandana Man himself. He stretched and waved cheerily, hoping the guy didn't mind hitchhikers randomly in the back of his truck. But in his defense, the back wasn't all the way closed, so he was pretty much just _asking _for this kind of thing to happen.

"Hey, jus' wha' do ya think yer doin'?" he demanded gruffly, and it only now became apparent that he was pretty well-built on the muscle side. Bandana Man swallowed and lowered his hand.

"Uh, yeah- Um, could you by any chance take me to..." He trailed off to retrieve the second note and unfolded it, reading aloud, "R273 West 429...? Please?" he added hopefully. The driver snorted.

"Why, ya lookin' fer a mental hospital 'r somethin'?"

"_No,_" Bandana Man answered, appalled. "I'm trying to get a mirror and a loon."

"Well, I think ya found th' loon," the guy laughed, and Bandana Man's face flushed angrily. Why was no one taking him seriously?

"Hey, I'll have you know, I'm on a _very_ important mission that is _strictly_ a secret, so if you would please take me to this address you would be doing me a _huge_ favor."

"Yeah, whatever, Batman."

_Batman?_ Bandana Man made a noise of indignance in the back of his throat. "I'm not _Batman._"

"Okay, Superman."

"That's _Bandana Man _to you."

"Oho, _Bandana Man._"

"Okay, look, _pal_-" Bandana Man was about ready to pound this guy, and the guy was just laughing about it and he was starting to get a little frustrated here and then the guy was all, "Wait, wait-haha- wait." He crossed his arms angrily and glared at the driver, waiting.

"Listen, n'kay, 'm jus' playin' with ya, I'll take ya to th' flippin' address. Give it 'ere." Still scowling, Bandana Man reluctantly handed the paper over and pointed to the address. The guy nodded and gave it back, still chuckling to himself, gesturing for Bandana Man to get out with him. Bandana Man reluctantly hopped out of the truck and the driver closed it behind him, saying over his shoulder, "So what's so important 'bout this place, anyway?"

"I dunno," Bandana Man answered grudgingly, still sore about the driver's rudeness from earlier. "Does it matter?"

"Dun't s'pose so." Man, this guy's speech was bothering him. Couldn't he say the words like they actually were? Lazy, that's what he was. Add him to the list of people the world should hate. "Name's Rich, by th' way."

"Whatever," Bandana Man grumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes. He hoped this place was close to here, because he didn't want to spend more than five minutes with this "Rich." If it took longer than that, he was just going to jump out and walk. Plans were a good thing to make ahead of time.

After being gestured by Rich, Bandana Man climbed into the passenger seat of the truck, clipping his seatbelt in and waiting as Rich started it up. Air conditioning blasted in his face and he frowned, irked. Rich glanced at him and reached forward, turning it down as he began to drive.

"Why do you have all that stuff in the back?" Bandana Man questioned before he could stop himself. He saw Rich glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Di'n'tcha see th' side o' th' truck? 'S a movin' truck. Some family goin' ta Anaheim, yanno?"

"Sure." Silence filled the truck, aside from the low hum of the engine and the air conditioner. Bandana Man checked Carlos's watch again, worried and still annoyed. "So... About how long do you think this might take to get there?"

"Two-sev'n-three west four-two-nine?"

"Yeah."

"None too long," Rich said, leaning back and driving with one hand. "We're already on Route 273. Not too many buildin's 'round here. Should be maybe- ten minutes tops."

Bandana Man sank into his seat and suppressed a groan, instead mumbling, "Okay," into his hands. This was going to be a _long_ drive.

* * *

_Alright, sorry for the delay, I don't know what happened. I seriously don't, it could have been laziness or not knowing what to do or something I don't even know, but I'm sorry this took so long. D: In honor of the new episode, though, here we go, new chapter. 8D Seriously, that was amazing. And I discovered that Logan makes amazing noises all over the place, we just never noticed. Like on Big Time Love Song when Camille randomly comes up and kisses all over him and then he like squeaks or something at Jo and it's so amazing I'm gonna die. I think this might be the longest chapter I've written so far. Either that, or it's not. lD_

_YEAH SHIRLEY YOU MILK THAT GOAT YEEEAAHHHHHHH sorry my sister's watching Heidi and I looked over and the butler was trying to milk the goat and I was like "wwhhhaaaatttttt" and then she showed him and then he tried and squirted the milk all over his face and I was like "OH MAN" and yeah. Logan's pretty sexy in a tuxedo. Enjoy the reference to Big Time Blogger (does it annoy anyone else that the writers think they're so cool and put "Big Time" in front of every episode title?)._


	10. Problem Solved

"_Kelly_KellyKellyKellyKellyKel-_lyyyyy_ I hafta pee but they won't _let_ me and it's been a bajillion _hours_ and I have to pee _so bad_, Kelly _sobad_ _Kellyyyyyy-_"

"Carlos!" She jerked away from him. "Snap out if it!" Carlos whimpered and fell silent. Kelly wasn't in such a great state, tied up same as him. As soon as he'd seen her he'd scuttled over as best he could with his hands behind his back and started desperately telling her his predicament. Or yelling it at her. Was there really a difference? "Okay, look; I know things are a little confusing right now, but there's a reasonable- well, kind of- explanation for everything, and if you'll just calm down, I can-"

"But how can I calm down at a time like this? Dude, they won't let me pee!"

"Oh, and what am _I_ supposed to do about it?"

"Y-" He stopped. "I have a headache, Kelly." Kelly sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Here, it's the middle of the night, right? Why don't you just get some sleep? We'll talk in the morning."

"But-"

"Carlos."

"Okay."

He glanced around at his surroundings. There was no bed. In fact, there was no furniture, period. There was cold, hard cobblestone floor with green moss in the edges. It wasn't pretty green, either. Carlos didn't know if he _could_ get to sleep in a place like this.

Apparently he wasn't going to find out.

"You. C'mere, now." Carlos turned to see a big guy in a suit blocking the dim lantern's light, pointing to him. He squinted, trying to get a good look at the guy's features.

"Hey... I know you- aren't you-"

"No." Well, his voice was recognizable. He was definitely the driver from before. But that wasn't why his face was vaguely familiar to Carlos. Or maybe it wasn't. It was _really_ hard to see down here. "Let's go." He unlocked the gate and opened it, reaching down and roughly pulling Carlos up by his upper arm with a painfully firm grip. Carlos was starting to think this was not going to be very fun.

"Could you maybe- stop hurting me?" he asked very politely if he did say so himself. The dude didn't answer, only tightened his hold. How _rude._ "Alright, well- Where are we going?" He closed the gate and locked it again, pulling Carlos along and leaving Kelly behind.

"Bathroom," he muttered.

"Seriously?"

"No, we're going to the pool to relax and read magazines. Yes, seriously!"

Carlos looked up at him, the guy continuing to stare straight ahead as they walked in silence, a nasty tough guy scowl on his face. "Dude. You're not a very happy guy, are you?"

"You be quiet."

Carlos was quiet.

Once he _finally_ got into the bathroom, however, he ran into a problem.

"Uh," he called out, a little distressed. "Dude, how am I supposed to go if my hands are tied behind my back?"

"Figure something out," came the answer from the other side of the door. Carlos made a sound of indignation.

"What am I supposed to do, wet my pants?"

"Look, kid, I've been given strict orders to not untie you under any circumstances, including issues with the bathroom. You have two minutes in there before I take you back, so I suggest you hurry it up."

"But it's not _possible_," Carlos strained. "Seriously, help a dude out! They'll never know if you untie me for _one second_ to _pee._"

"Can't do that, buddy."

Carlos groaned in frustration and distress. What was this guy's problem? What did he have against urination? It was a free country. He had a _right_ to urinate. He could probably _sue_ or something. Maybe.

Well, he didn't sue, but they did eventually figure something out, and to say the least, it wasn't pretty. But it got the job done, and that was all Carlos was concerned with.

* * *

_I am soso sorry for the depressing lack of updates recently, I've been cought up in a lot and being depressed certainly does not help. I should be fine from now on, though, despite my summer school starting tomorrow. Driver's ed. Ew. _

_Anyway, I tried to make this chapter as long as I could, just for you, and as you can see, I failed, Epically. But that's okay, right? Right. Sorry if there are typos, I didn't really edit this. _

_Also I am so PSYCHED for the new episode. Friday can't come fast enough. Seriously. I'm gonna die. It'll be great though. _


	11. If We Never Flew

Bandana Man _swore_ that was the _longest_ car ride he had ever in the history of ever been on. Seriously, halfway through Rich reached over and turned on the radio to Kost 103.5, and honestly, country love songs just weren't doing it for him. If there were one word he could describe that twelve minutes and forty-three seconds (the only thing he could find to occupy himself with was watching Carlos's watch _slowly _tick the seconds away) with, the first thing to come to mind would be _torture._

He wanted to kiss the ground when Rich finally let him off. He also wanted to throw something at his truck as it drove off. The head-sized rock at his feet was extremely tempting.

Whatever. Temptations aside, Bandana Man had a mission to fulfill. An _important_ mission. Now, what was this R273 West 429? He turned from the road to face the new building he'd been called to, probably a big business complex or an underground military system or-

A gas station?

That couldn't be right. Why would these, the evillest of minds, send him to a _gas station,_ of all places, and in the middle of nowhere? Were they mocking him? Did they think he was stupid? Well they were _wrong._ He was _not_ stupid. He was _cool._ They were the stupid ones. He wasn't going to be fooled by their idiotic tricks and traps. He was going to be cautious and careful. Yeah, show them who they were messing with. They'd be sorry they ever invoked the awesome wrath of _Bandana Man._

He approached and entered the building. Ugh. It was so... dirty. Like, it looked old and ugly on the outside, but on the inside it was dark and lit with dim colored lights and there were flickering neon signs everywhere and it was just so _repulsive._ Man, he hoped he could just get this done quick so he could get out of here and head to the next place. If there was gonna be a next place. This better have not been the last place.

A little disconcerted, he headed further into the place, looking for anything suspicious that might need his attention on a mission like this. Nothing really caught his eye, which was slightly frustrating. That notion grew when he realized there was a sort of bar type thing and he had no money to get a drink of some sort. Well, that sucked. What was he supposed to do, sit down and wait for someone to come up and tell him-

"Hey." Caught by surprise, he whirled to face the bartender guy, if this even was a bar, who was leaning over the counter with his hands clasped in front of him. He was a lean guy, wearing a handkerchief over his head and an apron over dark clothing, and had a moustache with thick stubble lining his jaw. Pretty shady-looking guy, if anyone were to ask Bandana Man. He cautiously followed the man's beckoning and stationed himself far enough away from him that he wouldn't be able to grab him and kill him or something. The guy nodded to him and spoke, "You, uh, Bandana Man?"

Bandana Man swallowed as he noticed this guy had silver _and_ gold teeth. "Yyyyeah."

The bartender glanced around swiftly before looking down as he pulled something from under the counter. "Someone came by earlier to drop this off. Said it was for a certain Bandana Man. Said he'd come around some time today. 'S you, I'm assuming."

Bandana Man's eyes focused on the object in the bartender's hands. It was a piece of paper. A folded up piece of paper. With a swirly music note on the outside.

He snatched it from the bartender's fingers, shooting him a look before scuttling away to an empty table in a dark corner of the room to read it, apparently too dark a corner, though, because he couldn't read the writing. After moving to a more efficiently lit but still secluded table, he opened the note and read:

_Halfway there, Bandana Man. _

Oh, so they were gonna play _that _way, huh? Well, he wasn't laughing. He'd show them. At the bottom beneath the devious message was not an address, but a confusing list of what he was gonna say were directions... or something.

_W1365_

_N1429_

_W1234_

_N666_

_X_

_E852_

_N378_

Holy men, what was that supposed to mean? Were they mocking him again? Who did they think they were? 'Cuz it wasn't funny. At all. Bandana Man was going to kill someone if they kept sending him riddles and crap like this, which would suck because he was supposed to be a hero, not a killer.

"Oh and..." Bandana Man started and jerked around to see the bartender at his side, hastily folding the note back up. The bartender held out a large dark object, continuing, "I was told to give this to you also."

"By who?"

"I dunno. Just take it, man." Bandana Man sighed and reached out to accept it. Because of the low level of light in the room he didn't really notice what it was until he had it in his hands and the guy was walking away.

Carlos' helmet.

_Those__** fiends**__!_

Bandana Man was almost horrified that they would do something so despicable. This was almost worse than taking James' lucky comb. No, it _was_ worse. Carlos couldn't _live_ without his helmet. Not that James could live without his lucky comb, but this seemed a much bigger deal. The horror. The humanity. The _evil._

Bandana Man was gonna get to the bottom of this. Nothing was gonna get in the way. He was halfway there.

* * *

_Yeah I don't know what came over me. That may be the worst chapter ending I've ever written lmao buuttt I kind of like how it's all cheesy and retarded hahaha. Anyway I'm sorry about the lack of daily updates mm'kay and I know sorry doesn't really cut it because it never cuts it for me when I'm reading something that has gaps lasting up to months long in updates. and I would have done it yesterday but I was at Disneyland and it was terribly exhausting (I fell asleep at one point lol) and I got home at like nine thirty or something so I had no time ffffff so here's your chapter. Also new episode Saturday YYEEEAAAHHHHHHHH ttlycan'twait 8'D_

_AND UM should the next chapter be Carlos or Bandana Man? Because I'm a little bit stuck and it would be nice to get a little help here so first we start with the setting and characters right? Yeeeaahhh. Though I've got to say, there's not a lot of Carlos left before it starts spoiling the whole plot and I don't want you guys figuring it out until Bandana Man does lolsob so uh just give me your opinion and I'll try to figure something out alright thank you. Also reviews would be nice. I appreciate the favorites, but reviews really make it worth it. I don't think I would write as much as I do if people didn't review. ;3; BigBIIGGG thank you to those who do review, it really means a lot that you would take the time to do so, and I thank you all for it. kisses for yoouuuu~ ;3;_


	12. As Always

Packing up to go off on some sure to be unnecessarily tedious task that didn't even need to happen in the first place was a great way to build up your frustrations if you were ever looking for one, and trust me, my frustrations were building up fast. I didn't even know why I was doing this. I should have been sitting on my butt without a care in the world right now, but for some reason I was getting ready to possibly spend the whole freaking day away doing something I would have really actually preferred not to. But things don't always work out the way you planned, and today seemed like it was gonna be one of those days. In fact, I knew it was gonna be one of those days. It all started this morning, when he walked into the room. From there I knew it was gonna snowball into something big and bad that I was gonna have to go off to stop like always. Well, that was just the way things were, and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

"Hey."

I didn't look up, continuing to shove things like water and granola bars into my backpack. He sighed and came over, standing next to me, arm resting on the counter beside my backpack. I turned away to pull more things out of the fridge, because there was really no telling how long I was gonna be stuck out there trying to stop everything.

"You don't have to do this."

"I know," I exhaled, willing him to just go away and worry about his problems without pulling me along into them. I grabbed an energy drink from one of the shelves and tucked it under my arm as I continued searching for other things to my benefit.

"So why are you?"

I sighed and turned back, shutting the fridge door a little harshly. "Because there are more important things to be worrying about than just myself. Can't you just get over it already?"

"No," he chuckled, for some reason not in any sort of bad mood. What kind of a friend was he, anyway? Evidently not a great one. "You should just relax and wait. Everything always works out, no matter how crazy the situation. We don't always have to be a part of it, you know." When I didn't answer, he continued, "I mean, look at everything else we've gotten ourselves into, and they all ended up just fine. History says this will, too. This is just another one of those situations. Nothing's different. Just leave them, they'll come to their senses eventually."

"No, this is not just another one of those situations," I disagreed, setting the energy drink down on the counter beside me. "All those other times involved _all of us._ If this were to be the same, we would all need to be out there doing something or another. Which is why nothing's gonna work out until we're all together."

He shook his head. "I'm not getting sucked into this," he stated with finality, crossing his arms. "Go on all the adventures you like, but I'm not getting involved just because you guys are all stupid. That shouldn't effect me. So you can call me when you're done living in Gotham, but until then I'm staying right here."

I stared at him disbelievingly, dark pressurized anger rising in my throat. "Fine," I choked out, reaching over him to grab my backpack and stuffing the energy drink into it. "I thought you were better than this, but I guess I was wrong. Have fun doing _nothing._"

The door slammed behind me, and for a second I felt just the slightest bit guilty. It was only for a second, though. There were bigger, more important things to be worrying about right then.

* * *

_Woah, man, don't know what happened there. Establishing the start of a more serious tone? Don't get me wrong, it will still have a light tone all the way through, just for the ending it needs to be all dramatic and superhero-y, you know what I'm talking about? Drama, stuff is HAPPENING now! _

_Basically I couldn't decide whether chapter twleve should be about Bandana Man or Carlos so I decided to do it about someone entirely different! And then it got like, sthuper stheriousth, guysth. Must be the random switch to first person. I had to do that, though, to conceal the person's identity. Didn't do so well, though, did I? Because If I were reading this, it'd be clear as glass to me. That's just the writer speaking, though. Tell me, guys, is it really that obvious? -yes-_


	13. Pirate's Cove

It didn't make sense. It was so frustrating, it didn't make sense, it did not make sense, it needed to start making sense right now or else it was going to rain ashes tonight. Who even thought of this? Did they want him there or not? Wasn't the point of stealing everything to get Bandana Man over there so they could, like, stop him from being cool or something? Because how did they expect him to get there if he didn't know that their stupid numbers and letters meant? They were gonna be waiting there for a _pretty_ long time if they expected him to just magically know. Because he didn't. In fact, he didn't have a clue. And it was frustrating.

He turned it over and over in his head, like a stalling engine, trying to figure it out every which way he could possibly think of, stuck on it for so long that he could recite it to anyone who asked without looking.

_W1365_

_N1429_

_W1234_

_N666_

_X_

_E852_

_N378_

This was not fair. What... Who did they think they were, anyway? Now that question was burning to be answered, hot and fiery on the front of his brain, smoldering so heatedly Bandana Man was sure it was glowing brightly on his forehead for the world to see. Then someone from the baddie group would see and feel really guilty that he ever angered Bandana Man and go hide in a hole of shame. Yeah, add him to the list of people the world should hate. Add them all. They all deserved to be hated for aggravating him so.

Almost violently he turned the paper around, making some rather angry paper-crinkling noises in the process, searching hotly for some sort of clue on the back. All he got was a few more pasted words:

_You'll figure it out._

And at the bottom:

_Eventually._

Okay. Okay, these guys were gonna be sorry they were ever born. They had _nerve,_ they did. He was gonna beat them all to bloody pulps when he got to them, he swore on Kendall's mother's grave. Because it was probably gonna take that long for him to figure it out. He could really go for a smoothie right now.

Alright. How did one handle something like this? Someone smart, someone who always figured it out in the end. Preferably fast. Logan. Aw, but he hated Logan, did he really have to-

Yes. There were important things at stake, _lives_ at stake. Right? He had to get this right, even if it meant- gulp: _going to the enemy for help._

The phone rang once, twice, thrice, and that's all Bandana Man knew how to say numbers that way. But it rang a fourth time, and a fifth time, and a sixth time, and then this was Logan Mitchell, he wasn't able to pick up the phone right now, but he would be delighted to listen to Bandana Man's voice mail next chance he go-

Bandana Man snapped the phone closed and reopened it, trying again, attempting to not think about how pathetic and unnecessary this was even though it was completely necessary. It was still pathetic. It rang once, twice, and then-

"What."

"Hey, Logan!" he greeted, trying not to sound like he wanted to reach through the phone and strangle him. Because he didn't. He just wanted to smack him. And maybe punch him for good measure. Yeah. "This is Bandana Man-"

There was a click and silence before a dial tone droned out and Bandana Man pulled the phone away from his ear to stare at it in disbelief, mouth dry. Did he really just... Wow, he had more nerve than these guys. Yeah, definitely at the top of his hit list. Well, maybe not. He was a superhero, not a superkiller. But still, that was kind of even more infuriating than the stupid numbers. And a little, maybe just a little bit demeaning. It sucked to be rejected by someone you hate. With a burning passion that might have been just about to fade, but he sure made short work of rekindling it right back up to the top again, didn't he? Once Bandana Man was finished with these guys, he was gonna give Logan a talking to.

Alright, coming back down, how was he going to do this? There was no one who could help him, no one who wanted to. Or who he wanted to. Well you know what, if he couldn't _have_ Logan, he was just gonna have to think like him.

Hmm, think like Logan, think like Logan. Well instead of going through all the insulting thoughts he could be coming up with right now, Bandana Man decided to get right down to business and start handling this like a smart person that wasn't just a crazy awesome superhero who didn't need smarts to save the day. Because apparently he did. And he was going to get them without the help of _Logan._

Okay. So he was gonna start by taking this one step at a time. Start with the first one. W1365. What was that? A code? Coordinates of some sort? He wasn't even sure he knew what the word meant, so probably not. Maybe they were... math. Or something. Now he was thinking too much like Logan.

So back up, away from the intangible Logan that wasn't gonna help him right now. Back up, to maybe previous letters that might have contained some clues. He pulled out the last one, rereading it for answers. Maybe it was color coded. Maybe all the purple letters spelled out- no, not really. Unless "uuons" meant anything. Last time he checked, it didn't. If he looked at the orange letters, though, they spelled "ought be me." That didn't really help. At all.

Frustrated, he stood abruptly and, gripping Carlos' helmet protectively in a strong grasp, stalked out of the dark, stuffy, gas station and into the warm air of the middle of nowhere. It wasn't hot out, just a bit stifling. This day wasn't being absolutely perfect, but hey, adventures aren't supposed to be perfect.

So back to the puzzle. W1365. W1365. What was that supposed to mean? It was like... Oh. _Oh,_ you know what, it actually rang a bell. Taking a second look at the last note, his eyes were drawn not to the message, but to the address at the bottom. R273 West 429. R273. It was kind of like that, wasn't it? So did that mean W1365 was a street, like Route 273? Probably not, because he'd never known those to have numbers with more than three digits. But 'W' could possibly stand for west, right? That made a lot of sense. In the back of his mind Bandana Man was able to take satisfaction in the fact that he was figuring this all out without the help of Logan. Who needed that guy, anyway? No one. Which was why the world was gonna hate him someday. Yeah, he was gonna laugh on that day. It would be great.

Well, now that Bandana Man was off on a tangent, when he returned he found he'd lost his train of thought completely. _Fantastic._ So much for being smart. At least he was still cool. Not that it really helped.

Pulling down on one side of his face, he began pacing. He'd never understood why they did that on cartoons and stuff, but he found that it was actually quite soothing. Relaxing. Not in a relieving sort of way though, more like it set him in a smooth, rhythmic kind of mindset. A way he could focus. Just count the steps, concentrate on the numbers. One, two, three, four, five to the right, one, two, three, four, five to the left. Over and over again. A pattern, just counting and counting and one, two, three. It sort of made him think of all those pirate movies he'd seen when he was younger, with the treasure maps and the pointless directions that made them go around in unnecessary circles. How they had to count the steps like him, because that's what it said. Twenty steps to the east, thirty-five north. Past the palm tree, then ten to the west and 'X' marks the- wait. Wait just a second here, that- that's-

Crazy. It was crazy. It wasn't a- _map,_ was it? That would be stupid, that would be-

Again he consulted the paper, staring at the letters before the numbers. W, N, W, N, E, N. It wasn't a coincidence. Every one of those letters symbolized a direction. Like, he was just thinking here, putting these thoughts out there, but... West, north, west, north, east, north. It made sense. And as for the numbers... Steps. It had to be, right? There was no such thing as an adventure without a treasure map, right? It was insane, but it was the only lead he had. He was gonna go with it, likely or not. So what was it, 1,365 steps to the west? Bring it on. Ready or not, he was coming. Watch out, he was gonna teach them to mess with the balance of the universe. They would never steal another helmet again.

* * *

_And bam, suddenly we have a longer chapter out of nowhere. It's probably not really that long, but to me it's the longest chapter, because it was taking forever to write. Actually, I was going to submit this earlier today, possibly even before noon, but then I got to the part with the purple letters and I couldn't make it up so I had to go actually make the stupid letter and I'm glad I ahd that magazine handy and we now interrupt this story so I can tell you that Doctor Who is amazing and I'm going to miss David Tennant much. And it's amazing because special features is on right now and he's at the San Diego Comic Con and he goes up there with the microphone and all and randomly some chick screams out "HI DAVID" before he can start talking and he's all "HI" and it was amazing and now my mom's freaking out because John whatever Captain Jack you know is being all gay and kissing guys and my mom's like "EW WTF" and I'm like "LOLOL" and it's great._

_Sorry to bother you with my obsessing over something that ISN'T Big Time Rush or South Park. Um but yeah I had to actually make the ransom note and count the purple letters and it's retarded because there were barely any and then I counted the orange ones because there were a million and they actually spelled that and I thought it was funny so I had to put it in. But that's not what caused the whole delay; you can thank the lovely One Man Writing Games for that, who is my new soul mate and I send her kisses and flowers and everything ever. I'M STILL WITH YOU EMMA THOUGH I SWEAR THIS IS NOT AN AFFAIR IT'S POLYGAMY AN OLD MORMON TRADITION IT'S OKAY I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. _

_Um wow this is getting really long BUT I just wanted to say: So you know how there are all these stories about kidnaping out there and I was like "man that's a lot I'm never gonna get sucked into THAT" and then I stumbled across One Man Writing Games' INCREDIBLE fic, Monster, and you know what, halfway through the third or fourth chapter it suddenly hit me that I totally already did get sucked into it with this. Because I realized "oh, Carlos got kidnaped. That is- really insanely stupid that I did not notice that before but yeah." And man, I feel like an idiot lol. BUT GO READ HER FIC IT IS SO GOOD HERE READ IT RIGHT NOW. http:/www . fanfiction . net/s/5826291/1/Monster AAAAGGGHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH. YES. YESYESYESYESYES._

_Alright well I don't want to delay this update any further, so I'm gonna go ahead and submit it. I know I said I was working my way up to daily updates, but it's gonna have to move on to every other day. Sorry, grounded for stupid churchy reasons. Every other day, man. That's not a promise, however, so don't rely on it. And now my mom's telling me to make fishsticks and tater tots (FISHSTICKFRIDAYWOOOOOOOOOOO) so I'm gonna submit this. Cheerio!_

_OHANDAND just saying, Kendallicious is the best nickname I've heard for him EVER. YOU WIN. _


	14. Never Eat Shredded Wheat

Would this ever end? It was just a boring, unchanging, consistent pattern that went of forever and ever and past forever even, and it took all his concentration, because he kept losing track of what number he was on and when he got to twenty-three he lost track and had to go back and start over and he was pretty sure he went from seventy-nine to ninety but it didn't even matter because he was going in the right direction anyway right? If there was anything important at the end of this he'd see it. It was that simple.

Well at approximately one thousand steps he stopped staring at his feet and looked up to see a large dark mass ahead. Actually, it looked to be a forest. In the middle of nowhere. In California. And there was no electrical spiked gate with a sign warning to stay out of the nature reserve. Well that was strange. Bandana Man couldn't tell the future, but he would bet some things that this treasure map or whatever was leading him to that magic forest. It wasn't too far away; it looked to be about three hundred steps away. Sure enough, three hundred sixty-five more steps brought him right up to the forest's edge. Well at least he knew he was right.

Alright, first one thousand three hundred sixty-five steps down. What's next? Bandana Man consulted the note again, reading the next directions. North one thousand four hundred twenty-nine steps. Sounds fun. Wow, that was even longer than one thousand three sixty-five. This was gonna suck. Oh well. Just because he didn't feel like counting a thousand and a half steps didn't mean he could just turn around and go home. Nothing had changed. He was a superhero. He was entitled to help, no matter the cost. If he was going to have to walk a hundred or a million steps, he would do it. Onward, to victory! Or whatever it was.

Okay, north. What direction was that from here? Let's see, he was going west, and the saying was... what was it, never eat soggy waffles? But no, Bandana Man liked waffles. Except when they were being offered to him by big fat music producers who hated him. Not that that had ever happened to _him_ or anything. Just saying. Anyway, never eat shredded wheat was a _much_ better saying. And it rhymed. Everything was better when it rhymed. And besides, shredded wheat was gross anyway. Whenever he ate the cereal the little bits got stuck in his teeth and totally ruined his smile. So that's why never eat shredded wheat was a much better saying than never eat soggy waffles.

Either way, he went forward with it, lost count a couple of times (or maybe a lot of times; he was having a hard enough time keeping track of the number of steps he took- he couldn't possibly be bothered to keep track of the number of times he messed up, too), maybe skipped a few sets of ten, but he eventually got to one four two nine- more or less. And it was kind of a nice change to be walking along side a forest rather than a road, but not by much, and it very rapidly got old. It was okay, though, because the next direction was west again and that meant going into the forest. How _exciting._

West one thousand two hundred thirty-four. Right then.

Approximately one thousand steps two hundred thirty-four steps later, Bandana Man found something amazing. And slightly strange. Okay, a lot strange.

It was a horse tied to a tree.

He stood still in shock for a second, because what. He approached warily, because he'd heard stories. He wasn't having his head kicked at an odd angle or his ear bitten off. The horse seemed pretty calm, though, and only tossed its head a little when he timidly stretched out a hand to smooth it across its shoulder. It was actually kind of a pretty horse, despite it's being a gigantic freak monster. Movies kind of failed to capture the actual size of the beasts. It was chestnut brown with white running down its face to encase its muzzle and had a shiny coat, obviously not having been left out here for too long considering its state. It was pretty peaceful, calmly nuzzling at Bandana Man's shoulder. He brushed it off, because _ew._

So obviously it wasn't a coincidence that there was randomly a horse standing in the middle of a forest exactly where he'd been directed to be. The horse had a saddle with a bag attached. Which probably most likely surely held some piece of evidence for him. A letter, maybe. With a little swirly note drawn on the side. He found it in the small outside pocket of the bag.

_This is Cassie. Treat her well. She won't bite._

Oh, so he was supposed to ride a horse through the forest. Well, he'd never ridden a horse before, so he supposed he was gonna have to learn really fast. It didn't sound all that fun, but hey, a horse was really going to up the epicness of this adventure. And who knows, maybe it was gonna be fun. Sighing, Bandana Man took the reins and patted Cassie on the head.

"You be nice, alright? I don't wanna have to add you to the list."

* * *

_In honor of the Seven Secrets special, here's chapter fourteen. Lol. It was gonna be longer but I wanted to keep it short because we've already got enough short chapters piled up, right? Which translates to I got lazy and watched iCarly all day and didn't finish in time. But hey, I've got something, right? Yeah. Came up with Cassie's name in like two seconds because I don't know what a horse name is. Haha so too bad for you horse lovers out there. I HOPE YOU ALL DIE._

_And the special was amazing and I'm gonna have a seizure because it was so great and it made me really really happy and I got to see it before my friend who's three hours ahead of me and I feel victorious and great and Kendall's amazing and the turd song LMAO and here you go. X3_


	15. Magic

Everything was fuzzy, unfocused, like he was disconnected. There was a dull ache resounding through his head and no, he didn't like it. It should have stopped, gone away the second he had the thought, but it continued relentlessly, disobediently. So he wasn't dreaming, because usually good things happened in his dreams. He would be walking through a pretty field right now, with lots of flowers, and kittens. Yeah, happy dreams of kittens. Playing hockey, or something. He didn't know. All he did know was that it was dark and fuzzy and his head hurt, and now he was surfacing. The black fog began clearing and his thoughts sharpened and then he was blinking awake, a face coming into focus above him.

"Carlos?" a voice came, unclear and a little hard to hear. "Are you okay?"

He groaned and blinked a couple more times, trying to get ahold of the situation. Why was he here? And Kelly, what was going on? Wh- oh. Oh, now he remembered. Somewhat. The kidnaping, the urination, all that good stuff. And now he was back with Kelly. There was one thing still unexplained, though: how was Kelly able to be running her fingers through his hair right now?

"Weren't you like- tied up?" His voice was quiet and hard to use for some reason, and he realized that he didn't actually remember falling asleep. So how did he just wake up? Man, that's creepy. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to clear the image of Kelly staring down at him as she answered.

"I got free and untied you, too. You're welcome." Carlos blinked again and noticed his hands folded together on his stomach. Okay, now _that_ was creepy. It was like he was _dead_ or something. Really, this whole thing was creepy. Seriously- a dungeon, and randomly waking up when he never actually fell asleep, and magically being untied, and being _dead._ Well, waking up dead. Well- okay, it didn't matter. His head hurt.

"Oh." He brought a hand up and rubbed his forehead, sighing slightly. "Yeah. Thanks." He realized his head was in her lap and, feeling self-conscious, tried to push himself into a sitting position, but Kelly's hands went to his chest and shoulder, stopping him and gently pushing him back down.

"You need to rest," she said seriously, eyes hard and relentless. Carlos sighed, shaking his head.

"What even happened? I never fell asleep."

"Yeah you did. After you came back, you were really tired and kind of just layed on the floor and started snoring."

"That is so not true!" Carlos replied indignantly. "I do _not_ snore." Kelly rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. You were out for a really long time, though. You kept saying things, too." Carlos furrowed his eyebrows, intrigued by this new bit of information. And slightly wary.

"Like what?" he asked, shifting a little against Kelly. She thought for a moment.

"Well," she began, "for a start, your mouth was kind of twitching, and then you were mumbling things like the words 'refrigerator' and 'helmet' and the phrase 'sandwich the size of a chihuahua' and then you screamed that you had to pee and-"

"Alright, alright," Carlos intervened hastily. "I get it." He was kind of entertained that he'd screamed all that stuff, though. It also explained why his throat was a bit scratchy. Oh well. "Just- it was nothing _embarrassing_, like some kind of gay _love confession_, right? Just, like, hoagies and dogs and giant food containers?"

"Uh... yeah." She was giving him a strange look, but whatever. He was relieved. "Why?"

"Oh, no reason. Didn't want you to hear any _lies_ that would be totally not true and lies. And false." He kind of laughed nervously a little, biting his lip. Kelly did not look impressed. "I'm gonna... you know. Good night." He waved cheerily and shut his eyes tightly, pretending to snore loudly. He heard Kelly sigh. Then he heard a loud booming voice that was not Kelly.

"You!" it shouted loudly, so that Carlos' head throbbed. He opened his eyes to see that guy from earlier pointing right at him. The one who took him to the bathroom? Yeah. He would never look at that guy the same again. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Uh..." Carlos strained, glancing quickly at Kelly. "Sleeping?"

"_No,_" the guy corrected. "You're coming with _me._" He glared through the bars at both of them. "And how'd you get free?"

"Magic!" Carlos burst out impulsively. They both stared at him and he shrunk back a little. Then Mr. Needs-To-Learn-To-Control-His-Temper unlocked the gate and came in, reaching down and wrenching Carlos violently up by the arm again, catching him by surprise. He shrieked, pretty much positive that his arm was forming a gigantic bruise by now. And the guy's vicious squeezing was doing nothing to help the cause.

"You stay there," he ordered Kelly, who was standing by now. The guy (Carlos was tired of calling him that; he decided Steve was much more fitting) dragged Carlos out of the cell and shut the gate, locking it again.

"See ya, Kelly!" Carlos called as Steve pulled him out of sight. Well, at least he hoped so. He turned to Steve. "Where are we going now?"

Steve didn't answer. Just led him through a bunch of hallways, up some stairs, around a corner, through more hallways, to a door. Through the door.

Carlos did not think he was going to be seeing Kelly again.

* * *

_I DON'T KNOW. So don't ask. All I can say is that strongly support the idea of Carlos and Kelly being BFFs like forever and EVER and I don't know why but that's what happened to this chapter. I apologize deeply. OH BUT IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE THAT'S KIND OF NOT GOOD AND JUST NO OKAY I just think they should team up and save the world together. Not that they didn't do that already. 'Cause that was like, the epicest moment ever._

_Sorry this update took so long. I got stuck, but I've gotten it figured out now so yeah. AND YOU DON'T GET TO FIND OUT WHAT'S IN THE ROOM UNTIL CHAPTER AFTER NEXT HAHAHAHAHA and this story is actually ending in a few chapters so I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who read this and kept reading it instead of telling me how lame it was and who do I think I am and all that crap. Because seriously, that's the kind of stuff I expected to get when I posted the first chapter and it's kind of amazing that you guys have stuck with me enough to make me write this much. Because honestly, this story was only gonna be like three, four, maybe five chapters long and yeah I'm done with all the lame mushy stuff. I just felt that I needed to say that because it's like, tradition. idk._

_Next chapter will be relatively soon. That doesn't mean tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day. Probably Friday, knowing myself. Just saying. Also I was watchign Big Time Demos and Kendall went off to his pool date with Mercedes and Gustavo was like "He looks good" and I totally flipped because that was al lthe evidence I needed. GUSTAVO ROCQUE IS HEREBY TOTALLY, COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY GAY FOR KENDALL KNIGHT. And now, in honor of keeping the author's note shorter than the actual chapter..._


	16. Don't Look Down

It was extremely difficult to count steps when riding a horse.

He tried going slow at first, just at a simple walk, but the horse didn't want to go slow, or straight. She wanted to stop to sniff at every single tree, and randomly turn around, and lean down so that Bandana Man almost fell off completely. He was getting a little frustrated here and he swore he was just gonna leave it and go on by himself, but then he decided finally that he would just head off in the direction the paper said to and guess how far it was. Of course it wasn't smart or probably very effective, but it was the only thing his patience was currently going to allow, so he was going to go with it.

So as he and Cassie galloped off through the forest (good thing the tree branches were so high), he only had one more thing to worry about: the _X_ on the map. Was it like a real pirate map or something? Like _X_-marks-the-spot? Or like "you're probably going to die here" _X_? Like skull and crossbones _X_? Now he was kind of nervous. He certainly did not come all this way to die. He did not put up with Rich and that crazy bar guy and this horse to just die. Well, he supposed he really didn't have anything to worry about, because superheroes never die, right?

Wait. What was it, north six hundred sixty-six? Shouldn't he have gone that far by now? Panicking, Bandana Man yanked on the reins, and Cassie skidded to a stop, whinnying slightly. "Sorry," he muttered, patting the side of her neck. Again he consulted the directions and read the next one. The infamous _X_. He bit his lip in worry and looked around. He didn't see anything especially noticeable about this place. No nets, no traps, no pianos hanging over his head. Well it was possible that this wasn't the spot he was supposed to be in. Well, actually it was very likely. Probably exactly that. Sighing, Bandana Man guided Cassie on, trying to get her to go more slowly again so that he could look for anything suspicious.

It wasn't until about three minutes later he found it. It wasn't suspicious, exactly, but it was enough to make his heart skip about five beats and his lungs seize up.

A bridge. An ancient-looking bridge made of rope and rotting wooden planks, hanging over a deep, perilous ravine that looked to be particularly fatal to anyone who fell to the bottom. Through a bridge that was probably a hundred years old. It had all kinds of lichens and mosses growing all over it and half of the planks were hanging down, holding on by only a small string of rope.

Bandana Man did not want to cross that bridge. He didn't want to go anywhere near it, much less set foot on it. And put his life in its ability to support him. And a _horse, _for crying out loud. Was this really the right place? He frantically searched all around for something more sturdy, like, say, a _tightrope._ Because quite frankly, he'd rather make it across on one of those.

Well, at least he knew what the _X_ was for now.

He was going to die.

But no, he was the fearless _Bandana Man._ He could do anything, especially for the good of mankind. Or Carloskind, in this case. Because wasn't it a superhero's responsibility to risk his life for anyone, even a mere stranger who needed his help? Then again, he wasn't going to be much help _dead,_ was he? But the next direction on the map was east, which meant he _had_ to cross the bridge, so it wasn't wrong. It just... wasn't right. Sighing in distress, his gaze happened to land on the ground, where there was a message scratched haphazardly but readably into the dirt:

_DON'T LOOK DOWN._

He needed more time.

* * *

_Actually the X stands for "cross" you know like cross the bridge? eheheh? -no-_

_Anyway sorry for the lack of updates on this, I kept procrastinating, like watching Poor Paul all day the day I was planning on writing two chapters of this and listening to Heffron Drive all day and GUESS WHAT I LIED. I said next chapter you were gonna find out what's behind the door Carlos went into but uh YOU'RE NOT so sorry ahaha. That's in... like... either one or two chapters, depending on how far I get with my new spur of the moment idea. Lol. Sorry about that. THE SUSPENSE BUILDS ON. Now here's the part where I say I'm gonna try to get another chapter up today, but whenever I say that AND I SWEAR I MEAN IT, it never actually happens, so I'm not actually gonna say it. Because that would be lying. ANYWAY._

_I just wanted to say that Devon Werkheiser is my new hero. FOREVER AND EVER. I LOVE HIM AHAHA. See how I'm going through all these phases of being obsessed with new things? Well I'm not going through phases. THEY'RE jUST BUILDING UP ON TOP OF ME AND THEY'RE GOING TO CRUSH ME. But really. Devon Werkheiser. HE'S SUCH A DORK AHAHA. -dies-_


	17. I Told You Not to Look

Okay, Bandana Man needed more time to think, not to waste. Funny how time flies when you're too scared to cross a flimsy bridge that wouldn't hold a peanut's weight. An hour. That's how long he sat there, trying to figure out how this would work. Well, kind of. The first ten minutes were spent tying up the horse and sitting on the ground scratching patterns in the dirt, glancing every once in a while over at the message that had been left for him. How did the person who wrote _that_ get across? Because they definitely did not use the bridge. There wouldn't be a bridge anymore if someone had tried to cross it. So maybe there was another way across? Some way that wasn't that piece of crap- no offense. Just...

Well, he thought for ten minutes. And what a glorious ten minutes it was, because the rest of the fifty minutes were spent sleeping. In his defense, he'd been working hard all day, trying to stop these hooligans from their dastardly antics, and in all honesty, he was exhausted. Of course, he didn't _mean_ to. A real hero would never fall asleep on the job on _purpose._ All he knew was that one moment he was thinking about solutions for his predicament, the next he was being prodded awake by... someone. Someone who was not Cassie, because he made sure to sit against a tree that was _far_ from her reach.

Groaning tiredly, Bandana Man swatted at the hand on his shoulder, still wrapped up in his fuzzy dream world, obviously not thinking clearly. The touch was relentless, however, apparently determined to get him back to reality. He was about to tell it to go away when a different voice took his place in speaking.

"Where'd you get the horse?" It was a familiar voice and it got Bandana Man right up into the waking world. He straightened his back and opened his eyes, yawning into his hand as he blinked into focus. His mask was a bit tilted and blocked half of one eye, so he adjusted it and blinked one last time to clearly process the image of Kendall Knight sitting hunched before him.

"Kendall? What are you doing here?" he asked in disbelief, rubbing his eyes in case they were playing tricks on him. They weren't. It was Kendall Knight in the flesh, slinging a bulky backpack off to the dirt at his side. He shrugged and rolled his head to the side a little, rubbing at a spot near the base.

"Making sure you don't do anything stupid."

"Excuse me?" Bandana Man scoffed, crossing his arms defiantly. "_I_ happen to be an experienced superhero; I know_ exactly _what I'm doing. You shouldn't be here. Are _you_ a superhero? Can you shoot webs out of your wrists?"

"As a matter of fact, I can," he sniffed, furrowing his eyebrows. "I have all the experience in the world, probably five times as much as you. Wanna know how I got here?"

"_No,_" Bandana Man declined, but maybe Kendall didn't speak English very well, because apparently in Kendallian "no" meant "why haven't you told me already, you pathetic failure at life?" and he proceeded to tell Bandana Man how he got there.

"I swung from building to building," he stated proudly, giving a little self-satisfied smirk as if saying, "Jealous, huh?"

Bandana Man was _not_ jealous. He instead raised his right eyebrow and gave a slight shake of the head. "You _swung?_"

"From building to building," Kendall confirmed.

"We're in a forest."

"Well, when I got to the forest, I-"

"In the middle of nowhere."

"There are clouds-"

"On a perfectly clear day."

"I'm Spiderman!" Kendall burst out in distress, and Bandana Man let out a short laugh, shaking his head agin.

"Whatever you say, Kendall."

"I swear."

"I won't forget it."

"You better not."

Bandana Man sighed, smiling lightly, but it completely vanished when he made the mistake of glancing over at the decrepit, pathetic excuse for a bridge. Kendall swiped his hair out of his eyes and gestured vaguely to Bandana Man. "So why are you sleeping anyway? I thought you were on a super vitally important mission to rescue Carlos."

"_That's_ why," Bandana Man answered dully, gesturing exaggeratedly to the broken down bridge, shaking his head with a hopeless frown plastered over his lips. "The directions I have say I need to cross _that,_ and there's no way me _and _a horse are gonna make it. Not to mention _you _now," he added. "No offense."

"Hey, I'm not fat!" Kendall protested.

"Wouldn't kill ya to drop a few," Bandana Man muttered. Kendall shoved at his chest hard and stood.

"So you're just gonna sit here and mope around while Carlos is possibly being _tortured_ in there? Feeling sorry for yourself and insulting your friends with inconsiderate _lies_?"

"Okay, okay, I take it back, gosh." Bandana Man took Kendall's offered hand and pulled himself up on it, shaking his head in slight exasperation. "But you get my point?"

"Yeah," Kendall sighed, running his fingers through the hair on the back of his head, ruffling it slightly. "So what's the plan?"

"Plan?" Bandana Man bit his lip as Kendall raised an eyebrow.

"You know," he started offhandedly, superiority glaring in his eye. "The plan you, the super experienced _superhero_ has inevitably come up with, to protect the concept of stopping at nothing to do good and defend the rights of justice? All that kind of stuff?"

"Not even close," Bandana Man muttered, then continued more loudly, "Oh, you mean _that_ plan!" When Kendall nodded expectantly, he faltered and grinned haltingly. "Uh- I forgot it."

"Too distracted by your fear?" Kendall smirked. Bandana Man scoffed, insulted.

"_No,_" he said, glaring hotly. "I was just-"

"Sleeping," Kendall finished, grinning like he was the king of the world with his crossed arms and his stupid eyes and-

"Your eyebrows are big," Bandana Man snapped, and Kendall's smirk immediately disappeared. Well, what do you know. He shot Bandana Man a glare and turned on his heel, stalking over to Cassie and petting her muzzle affectionately. Bandana Man rolled his eyes and put a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes momentarily and opening his mouth.

"Okay, look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, and if we're gonna work together, we need to be able to get along." Kendall remained silent and he sighed. "And James would want us to cooperate, too." That got Kendall's attention. He raised his head and stilled, fingers still stroking Cassie's muzzle slightly.

"James?"

"Yeah," Bandana Man nodded reassuringly. "He thinks you're a pretty cool guy. He wants me to get to know you better."

"Really?"

"Totally." A moment passed, and then Kendall turned around and grinned, rubbing at his arm.

"Alright then. Where to?"

"Uh." Bandana Man faltered and picked up Kendall's backpack off the ground, heading over. "Figure a way across the ravine?"

"Bridge," Kendall stated simply, gesturing to the disintegrating structure.

"Not gonna happen," Bandana Man countered, giving a fake smile. He was going to vow to try to get along better with Kendall, but only for James. It wasn't like he wanted to be best friends with the guy. Kendall was just gonna be his sidekick for a while. Not that he _needed_ one, what with all his amazing skill and-

"How about this?" Kendall suggested in a deadpan, stirring Bandana Man from his thoughts. He had moved to the side of the cliff dropping off into the ravine and was looking down with a rather amused expression. Bandana Man went over to see what was so funny, and the second he did he wished Kendall had never come along, because it was so _obvious._

_Don't look down._ Because you might see the _trail going down the side of the cliff._ Complete with handrails. Well, sort of. They started a little further down so that anyone who wasn't looking for a trail wouldn't see, right after the little series of wide steps that led further down to where it officially started.

"I hate you," Bandana Man muttered in response to Kendall's victorious grin. He headed back to untie Cassie, spending about a minute or so on that. Once he got her free, he and Kendall both headed down the trail, which was admittedly wide and kind of a lot hard to miss.

So of course he wasn't going to be best friends with Kendall; that was now a given. It almost seemed like it was gonna be the exact opposite of what was gonna happen. Because, James' friend or not, he'd beaten Bandana Man, and he wasn't going to stand for it. He was gonna get him back if it was the last thing he did.

Right after they rescued Carlos.

* * *

_Wow, a longer chapter! I might have had this up on Monday but my iPod was giving me problems because I KNOW I put Sparks Will Fly (Devon Werkheiser FTW go buy his singles now!) on it but when I listened it wasn't there and i was like 'WTF SDFJHS" and it was annoying and lame but I got it to work yay and here's the chapter. Also One Man Writing Games can be blamed for the delay again because all we do is talk all day and I get distracted and yeah._

_Kendall doesn't like Bandana Man. Sorry, but he doesn't. Because he knows the truth behind him and he doesn't like dealing with the double identity thing because he just wants to have rape conferences with James all day and he can't do that with Bandana Man around and this is totally not the real reason even though it is but just know that Kendall doesn't really like Bandana Man all that much. He just sees it as a way to mess with him, the whole thing. OH HA, you finally found out who it was in chapter... twelve? Remember that chapter, where it was all mysterious and you didn't know who the speaker was? IT WAS KENDALL AMG. So yeah. BUT THE SURPRISES AREN'T OVER, SO TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THE EPIC OF BANDANA MAN! (man, man, man...) lolfail_

_Seriously though. Also everyone go read this story (ht tp:/ /www. fanfiction. net/s/5826291/1/Monster) right now I mean it and then bother the author about updating and blackmail her with blackmail and do everything to get updates out of her because IF SHE DOESN'T UPDATE I'M GONNA KILL OFF JAMES YOU HEAR THAT I'LL DO IT I REALLY WILL AND LOGAN WILL LIVE AND BURN ALL OF HIS BANDANAS AHAHAHA. For real so everyone go do that please. Thhaannnnkkk yyyoooouuuuuuuuu~~~~*******~*~*~*~*~*~_

_Oh and just so you know Kendall really is Spiderman I SWEAR. Here's my research for this chapter: ht tp:/ /www. youtube. com/watch?v=9DlshEmn2Ww&safe_search=on and ht tp:/ /www. youtube. com/watch?v=XenhHeMaEYU&safe_search=on and ht tp:/ /www. youtube. com/watch?v=RbQmytSgR8g&feature=related&safe_search=on LMAO FOR SERIOUS._


	18. Guilt Trips Suck

The trail was a lot longer than it looked. It might have been because from where they were on the edge, the drop of the cliff had looked to be about the height of a three or four story building, so Bandana Man (rather stupidly) had figured it would be somewhat like taking an elevator down to the canyon floor, time-wise. He realized he was wrong right about when he felt it had been at least ten minutes (or something) since they'd begun their descent and when he noted their position he found that they weren't even halfway down the cliff side. Apparently the trail was a lot more winding than he'd anticipated. It was not a welcomed discovery.

"Why do _you_ get to be in front?" Bandana Man complained irritably, glaring at the back of Kendall's head.

"'Cause I don't want horse butt in my face," he lightly threw back over his shoulder in response. Oh, because he didn't _want_ to? Bandana Man had a word or two to say about that.

"Well that doesn't matter," he struck back, shaking his head angrily. "This is _my_ mission, so _I_ should be first."

"Well that's great, but we're kind of on the trail here and there's really not enough room for you to pass with the horse without falling off the side of the cliff."

"So?" he retorted creatively. "Just take the horse and I'll go in front!"

"But it's _your_ mission. The horse is your responsibility."

Bandana Man was ready to strangle Kendall by this point, companion or not. He had no idea how James could stand the boy, much less expect _him_ to get along with him. Throwing his hands up in the air, he snapped, "Well I'm passing the responsibility on to you! Now take the reins and let me go first!"

Kendall stopped, forcing Bandana Man to also stop, and slowly turned around, eyebrow arched and mouth quirked at the corner in an incredulous, disbelieving expression. He blinked once or twice and set a hand to his hip, pushing all his weight to one side as his mouth opened to let loose a thousand things that Bandana Man had absolutely no patience to hear.

"Okay, _look,_" he started, and Bandana Man was about to interrupt when Kendall held up a finger in warning, glaring through eyes that were gently sculpted with a false, tight smile. "I really didn't want to come here in the first place. I still don't. Honestly, I'd like to be home right now, or at the ice rink, or at least doing something that isn't anywhere _near _here. But what am I doing instead? Watching out for _your_ butt to make sure you don't do anything _stupid._ This whole thing is stupid, and you know what, I'm really not in the mood. So if you think you can just go bossing me around, saying whatever you want, then you can pack up and go home right now, because I am _not_ going to stand for it. I suggest you stop acting childish and keep quiet so we can just get this over with and be done with it, because to tell you the truth, I'm hating this just as much as you are. So please, do us all a favor and _shut up._"

Bandana Man was shocked, and a little speechless. He hadn't really expected any of that from the boy, honestly, and to have it all thrown right in his face like that was- well, enlightening, at the least. He hadn't really been focusing on how- _selfish_ he'd been acting this whole time. And now he felt kind of bad. Okay, more than kind of. He felt a lot bad for it, and wanted to apologize at the very least. But Kendall had said to shut up, so maybe the best form of apology was to just obey his orders and go along that way. True, it was relinquishing his rightful hold on the power, but when he thought about it, what would James want?

Well.

James would want Bandana Man kissing Kendall's feet in apology, buying him flowers and chocolates and jumbo-sized "I'M SORRY" cards, practically begging for forgiveness. Because Kendall was a highly valued friend to James, maybe even his best friend. Bandana Man couldn't explain why he hated Kendall so much, but now that he looked at everything that had happened so far from the other boy's perspective, he was able to understand where he was coming from and felt guilty. Seriously- Bandana Man had up and left spontaneously on what was probably going to be a dangerous journey, which had probably made Kendall nervous in the first place. And then he hadn't come back for _hours._ What time was it now, two forty-five? And he'd left first thing in the morning. How long had it taken for Kendall to finally decide to just come looking for him? He'd probably been wound tight with worry and tension at the lack of appearance of both him and Carlos. And then he finally comes out here to be ungratefully nagged and ordered around by the one he'd thrown away his own time to come looking after?

Wow.

That was a lot of thought. And kind of a huge guilt trip. Bandana Man hung his head in shame and Kendall turned on his heel, starting away down the trail again.

Bandana Man couldn't do much but follow.

* * *

_And I was doing so well with that longer chapter last time... _

_Well, after a lot more delay, here's the next chapter. That ho keeps yelling at me to update so here you go. I was probably going to do it without her nagging, anyway. What a ho. SPEAKING OF THAT HO. EVERONE GO READ THIS RIGHT NOW. ht tp:/ /www. fanfiction. net/s/6100115/1/Why_Im_Home Because she gets tons of favorites but like no reviews, and that's just wrong. So I know it's long, but it's totally worth the read, and I know some of you out there have read my really long stories, so please, just take some time out of your day to read AND review hers? Because it's an incredible fic and deserves about ten million reviews. Because really. The thing is freaking 10,000 words long and has TWELVE REVIEWS. TWELVE. So seriously go read it. It's totally one hundred percent worth it, all the way. Trust me._

_Okay, so I WAS planning on getting another chapter up today because of the big long delays that keep happening because of procrastination, but now I only have an hour to write it and get it up, so I'm not sure that'll be happening. If not tonight, however, it will be here tomorrow, a guarantee. Seriously, I'm not lying this time. I've resolved to make it happen. 8D_

_Oh, and I'm sorry about this chapter. I guess I must have had some secret angst inside because I feel fine, just the chapter didn't come out that way. So yeah, the tone's a little heavy but that's probably just because they're fighting. Still, I could have made it more amusing... ;-;_


	19. Sharing is Caring

At the bottom of the ravine was a small stream, which they let Cassie drink out of briefly before they were headed on their merry way once more, beginning their climb up the other side of the canyon. The whole journey was spent in silence, the only gestures of contact being swift glances between each other, and even those were tight and filled with tension. Each split second of eye contact made Bandana Man wince a little inside, because the way Kendall was just completely ignoring him was making him feel even more guilty. It was just like he really was here only to look after him. He wasn't a sidekick, he wasn't a companion, he wasn't a friend. He was just there to pull him out of sticky situations.

Bandana Man didn't like it.

And yes, it still kind of irritated him that Kendall was in front in their way up the side of the cliff. And it kind of got worse when Kendall pulled water from his backpack every once in a while and took lengthy gulps from the bottle. Come to think of it, Bandana Man hadn't even eaten breakfast this morning. He guessed he'd been so caught up in his superhero adventures that he hadn't even noticed his hunger. But now it was a gnawing, empty scratching in his stomach, and he was absolutely _starving._ Superheroes needed to eat, too, after all.

So basically he was guilty, irritable, thirsty and starving. Bandana Man was not a happy camper.

He didn't want to ask for food, though, because even if Kendall did have some, he probably wouldn't give him any even if he begged for it. And let's face it, he was not going to _beg._ So he went on, trekking up the dirt behind Kendall, stomach growling every once in a while, drowned out but the sound of Cassie's hooves clip-clopping on the hard packed Earth behind him.

They reached the top, _finally_, and Bandana Man almost gave a hugely exaggerated sigh of relief, but he didn't want to risk angering the almighty Kendall, so he just bit his lip and did so inwardly. Kendall immediately went down to sit on a nearby rock where the trees started up again, which Bandana Man took as his way of saying, "We're taking a break."

This time he did sigh in relief, dropping down gratefully to the ground, making sure he held tightly to Cassie's reins. She gave a slight whinny but was otherwise silent, tossing her head docilely instead.

Puffing out his cheeks and letting out a breath, Bandana Man reached into his pocket and pulled out the note with the directions, reading through them to get a general sense of what they were supposed to be doing next. East eight fifty-two. Which was... that-a-way. Fun stuff, this mission was. Bandana Man folded the map up and stuffed it back into his pocket, sighing briefly again. He looked over at Kendall and immediately regretted it; the other boy was pulling an energy bar out of his evidently well-stocked backpack, unwrapping it rather obnoxiously (well, at least it seemed that way when one was starving) and causing Bandana Man's stomach to grumble embarrassingly loudly. Kendall turned to look at the sound, and Bandana Man's face flushed slightly as he ducked his head, tracing aimless lines in the dirt next to him. It really kind of sucked to be in a fight, because it almost sentenced him to sure death by starvation. As if to emphasize this point, his stomach rumbled painfully again.

"...Are you hungry?" Kendall asked in a tone that made it obvious that he knew they both knew the answer to that. The only problem now was that Bandana Man was still wary of sparking Kendall's apparent flash flood temper. He kept his eyes carefully trained on the dusty ground where his finger drew circles over and over as he responded cautiously.

"A little." His stomach had a few things to say about that. When he glanced up he saw Kendall watching him with a raised eyebrow, the energy bar clutched loosely in his fingers. Bandana Man found himself focusing intently on the food item, subconsciously licking his lips. Kendall sighed and dug around in his backpack, pulling out another bar and tossing it carelessly to the other, Bandana Man catching it with _amazing_ catlike reflexes.

"There, you can have that."

At this point Bandana Man didn't even care about dignity, because he had _food_ and was tearing through the wrapper so quickly it was like it hadn't even been there in the first place, and then before he knew it half of it was gone. He tried to savor it, because he knew it was bad to just scarf it down like he was doing, but he couldn't help it. It was three in the afternoon and he hadn't eaten breakfast _or_ lunch. Could he really be blamed?

Then there was the matter of dehydration. And Kendall thought now would be a good time to chug down the rest of his water bottle.

Jealousy had never had real meaning until now.

Needless to say, when Kendall placed the empty bottle back into his backpack and looked up again, he was met with eyes as wide as dinner plates. He sighed again, shaking his head. _Always come prepared._

Bandana Man drank more than half of the water bottle.

* * *

_So when I say I'm gonna update the next day, apparently I mean at nine eleven the next day. OMG NINE ELEVEN CALL SOMEONE OMG -dies- I'm so sorry you guys. But I'm retarded. 8D_

_Also this chapter sucks. It's kind of a pathetic excuse for an update. But that's only because every time I start a chapter and have everything planned out, the first half of the chapter happens and then I just cut it off because I'm too tired/lazy to write the rest. So I'm sorry for all of you because you don't get to know what's happening to Carlos until Bandana Man and Kendall get to the end of the directions on the magic treasure map. omg sorrrryyyyyyy ;3;_

_And I've kind of stopped taking this seriously because I've got other plans for it in the future so sorry that it's been sucking recently. Just expect something amazing in the near future. And we all know that "in the near future" means "in a few months." So just letting you know._


	20. When Life Gives You Lemons

So east. Yep, sounded like fun. Despite their little food sharing moment right there, Bandana Man and Kendall still weren't on the same page and things remained tense. Which was weird, because superheroes were supposed to get along, right? Being for the same cause and all. If Kendall was who he said he was, of course. Which Bandana Man doubted, but then again, if Kendall said he was swinging from building to building to cloud to tree, well, it was probably true. If he were a real superhero, he could do _anything_, even swing from clouds on a perfectly clear day. Superheroes were awesome like that.

All this thought was kind of making him regret getting on his bad side even more. Like seriously, if Kendall really was that awesome, then Bandana Man wanted to get to know him better. Did James know all of this about him? Was this why he was such good friends with him? Maybe James sent him, so that they could combine powers and save the day even more epically. If that were the case, than Bandana Man needed to solve this _right away._

He just kind of couldn't talk to Kendall right now. But not because he was _scared_ or anything, just. Well.

Moving on, Bandana Man wasn't supposed to be thinking this much anyway. He was counting steps. East. Eight forty-one, eight forty-two, eight forty-three-

"Look at that!" Kendall exclaimed, totally interrupting his thoughts. And the barrier of silence between them. It must have been something good, or it _better_ have been, because...

Oh. Well that was something _pretty_ good. Or averagely good, for something found by _Spiderman._ It was a cave. But not like a normal little bear cave, more like a huge, deep, depressingly dark _cavern._ Possibly where a dragon lived. Or three dragons. And it looked deep.

Now, none of this was what bothered him. It would've been fine and dandy to see that cave and move along, but if Bandana Man's suspicions were correct, this wasn't going to be at all fine or dandy. Holding up a finger in a signal of silence to Kendall, he took nine more steps and again consulted the map.

"What's that?" Kendall tried to interrupt, but Bandana Man shushed him and stared at the next step, dread pooling in his stomach as he worked it out. North three seventy-eight. _North._ Which meant that they were going into the cave.

"Blast those demons," he muttered under his breath, looking up to stare into the thick darkness of the mouth of the cave light failed to penetrate. It didn't look like there was light on the other side, which deepened his worry. What if the directions were a trap? What if Bandana Man was leading Kendall to his death? To both of their deaths? But wait, they had Cassie. The bad guys wouldn't want the horse to die, would they? Unless the cave was full of a herd of rabid death horses, of which Cassie was a part and she was just here to make sure they made it to their horrible, horrible demise-

"Bandana Man!" Kendall finally broke through his thoughts, startling him into looking up. He was glaring again, evidently having called his name more than once. Bandana Man winced slightly and scratched at the back of his neck where the ties to his mask were tickling his skin as Kendall went on, "What is that paper and why do you look like you just saw a ghost?"

"Ghost?" Bandana Man repeated, trying to regain his composure. "What are you talking about, I'm fine. This paper has the directions on it." He waved it in the air, Cassie letting out a nicker and taking a step back. Bandana Man tightened his hold on the reins and Kendall crossed his arms.

"And?" When Bandana Man just stared blankly, he sighed and continued, "Where are we going next?"

"Oh." Bandana Man swallowed slightly and gestured to the cave. "North." Kendall looked at the cave and Bandana Man quickly put on his brave face before he turned back.

"You're scared of the dark?"

"No," Bandana Man snapped maybe a little too quickly. Kendall raised one bush of an eyebrow (he must've had incredible strength in his eyebrow muscles) and kept staring until Bandana Man felt like crawling into a corner. "Not really. I'm just concerned it might be a trap."

"Well," Kendall began, still staring skeptically, "I'm sure if it is a trap, it'll be nothing you can't handle."

"Yeah," Bandana Man agreed stubbornly, any fear he might've but probably didn't have being erased by his will to just be right. "Of course. Lead the way, oh noble_ protector_," he exaggerated, gesturing broadly with his free hand to the mouth of the cave.

"Not so eager to go first now, are we?" Kendall commented before heading into the mouth of the cave, Bandana Man silently mocking him irately as he and Cassie followed. It occurred to him that she might be a little more high-strung in the complete darkness that was soon to engulf them, but she didn't really seem nervous at all. No, all that thought really did was make him remember how he could see _nothing._ And if he couldn't see anything, well, that meant no one could see _him._ Which was definitely a horrifying thought. Plus, there were probably _things_ living in the cave. This was not going to be an enjoyable experience.

As they journeyed further and further into the cave, the light from the outside grew dimmer and dimmer, making Bandana Man's heart rise higher and higher in his throat, and he couldn't even concentrate on how many steps they were taking. But he guessed he didn't really need to, in the back of his mind, because the directions ended after this, so what was at the end of the cave was probably what they were looking for. Now, in the front of his mind, this was his main worry: the directions ended here. So either the bad guys or the next clue were at the end of the cave, or certain _doom_ was waiting to greet them. Bandana Man certainly hoped for the first. Not that he wanted to meet the bad guys, especially. Only to kick their butts and rescue Carlos, but then he was outta there.

Suddenly something interrupted his thoughts: high-pitched- well, squeaking. Like rats or something. Either way, it was loud and sounded like there were a thousand things making it and it scared the crap out of Bandana Man. Letting out a muffled shriek, he jerked forward and grasped for the closest thing he could find. Which was Kendall's arm. His fingers latched with an iron grip around the appendage as he hissed, "_What was that?_"

"I don't _know,_" Kendall snapped back, trying to pull free from Bandana Man's grasp. The noise came again, louder this time, and Bandana Man squeaked, pulling Kendall into him and wrapping both hands around his upper arm, squeezing so tightly he was probably cutting off his circulation.

"Make it stop," he whispered with fright into Kendall's ear, thoroughly freaked out. Kendall jerked away, telling him to man up and let go. He didn't let go though, because the noise came again, and in the next second they were swallowed whole.

High-pitched shrieking and squeaking made the air vibrate around them as the world seemed to come alive with deafening rustling and- well, it could've sounded like flapping if not for the way Bandana Man was flailing around to get them _away._ He realized he was yelling and shrieking and squeaking and sounded very much like the noises that were coming from everywhere. And there were red pairs of eyes zipping about everywhere, and no matter how many Bandana Man batted at them, there were always about fifty more to fill their place. He ended up letting go of Cassie's reins in order to protect himself from the demons, stumbling around in a frenzy before he ran into something very solid and ended up bringing them both to the floor. Judging by the angry indignant cry, it was very much Kendall Knight.

The onslaught of absolute evil was beginning to subside, and Kendall was admittedly angry at Bandana Man for pushing him down, because now he was yelling.

"Get off me! I swear- they're just bats, there's nothing to be scared of, c'mon, get _off!_" He sounded a bit furious and Bandana Man quickly obeyed, pushing himself to his hands and knees and jumping up. Kendall's faint outline rolled over and also stood up, and even in the lack of illumination Bandana Man could see the intense glare he shot him. "I _swear,_ they were just bats, what's your problem?"

Bandana Man didn't answer, feeling absolutely mortified. Maybe Kendall was a bad luck charm for him, because everything was going fine until he got here. Or maybe Bandana Man really did need to man up. Either way, it was kind of sucking right now, and it was about to get a lot worse.

"Where's the horse?"

"Right h-" Cassie was not right here. In fact, she was nowhere to be seen. Not that that was really saying much, but still. Cassie was gone. "Uh."

"_You let go of her?_" he practically screamed.

"Well I was scared!" Bandana Man burst, tired of just letting himself be yelled at and made to feel like crap. "I didn't know what all of that was and it took me by surprise and I let go of the reins and I'm sorry, okay?"

"They were just bats! You didn't see _me_ flailing around like an idiot, did you?"

"Well that's because you're brave!" He couldn't stop himself. Crap. He was brave too, right? What exactly did he even mean by that?

"Oh, and you're not, Mr._ I'm-The-Hero-_"

"No!" he burst out. Sighing miserably, he slumped back against the wall of the cave and looked down, away from Kendall's form. "I'm just stupid."

"What?" Kendall seemed unsure of what to say. Bandana Man sighed again, all of his anger gone and replaced with just frustration for himself.

"I didn't think ahead and I didn't plan any of this and I do dumb things like that and I've probably just been getting lucky this whole time. I mean, I would probably be too weak to even walk if you hadn't come along all prepared with food, and- you're just a way better superhero than me." He wasn't sure exactly what his point was or where he was going with this, just that he didn't like any of this at all and felt like just... giving up.

"Don't say that," Kendall snapped, making Bandana Man look up again.

"But it's-"

"Not true," he interrupted, shaking his head and moving closer. "Look, you've gotten this far, haven't you?"

"But I didn't plan ahead," Bandana Man protested.

"But you're a superhero," Kendall pressed. "You don't _need_ to plan ahead. You can take anything life throws at you and make it work in your favor. You're impulsive, and that's what saves you when it really counts. Did you give up back at the Palm Woods, when it looked like everything was sure to blow up in our faces? No. You stood strong and saved us all. Look at what's happening now: Carlos needs your help. Are you going to give up on him just because you're feeling a little down on yourself? And for nothing, at that?"

"But you-"

"Forget everything I said," Kendall interjected. He raised a clenched fist. "Now are you going to give up, or are you going to take it and make it work?"

Bandana Man thought for about a second, staring at Kendall's fist, before pushing up from the wall, filled with a new determination as he clenched his own fists.

"I'm gonna make it work," he declared, bumping fists with Kendall in anticipation. Then the fire faded slightly and he said more softly, "But I still need to say something before we go on." Kendall stood silent and Bandana Man took that as a sign to continue. "Well, what I wanted to say is- I'm sorry. For being hard to work with, you know? If I'm gonna be a _real_ hero, I'm gonna need to learn to be more patient. And less whiny," he added as an afterthought, because if he looked back, that was kind of really all he had done for the past twenty minutes. "So like- can we like... start over..?" When Kendall didn't reply immediately, he stuck out his hand as an invitation for him to shake, and Bandana Man could practically see the beaming smile on his face as he took a strong hold of Bandana Man's hand and shook it vigorously.

"Sure," he agreed. Bandana Man felt like a huge unbearable weight had been lifted off of his chest, and suddenly he felt as if he could do anything. It was a free, uplifting feeling, and it felt _awesome._ He and Kendall- or Spiderman, whichever- were going to _conquer_ these goons- whatever it took. Carlos was counting on them, and they weren't about to let that go. They were a team now. The _world_ was possible.

"Let's go," he said with finality, heading forward. He and Kendall linked arms and marched forward in unison, both of them determined and confident in their new alliance. And you know what? Not even a minute later Bandana Man could see the soft glow of light illuminating the wall of the cavern, signaling a turn in the tunnel going left. Glancing at Kendall, he continued onward, rounding the corner with the other, figuring the directions meant for them to go this way if there was no more room for them to go north.

It was like a photograph.

The tunnel was dark, totally thick and choking dark, but there were thin streams of light striking through, and at the end was just bright, penetrating, blinding light, and through that were trees and plants, their outlines vague and sunbleached. Bandana Man glanced again at Kendall and they simultaneously unhooked their arms to go sprinting for the light, maybe a little racing except Bandana Man had promised himself he wasn't going to try to compete with Kendall anymore. Besides, they broke into the sweet, sweet daylight at the same time so it didn't really even matter anyway. The real attention grabber was the- well, beauty of the scene before them.

It was as if they had fallen down the rabbit hole and found the garden of the red queen. Because that's what it looked like: a garden. There were blossom-clad trees, flowery bushes and vibrant green grasses that almost reached up to Bandana Man's ankles. The plants were so bright and colorful to look at that he didn't notice more important things.

"Look!" Kendall exclaimed, pointing. Bandana Man looked up to see a crystal clear stream, and a chestnut brown horse drinking out of it: Cassie.

"Aw, Cassie!" he grinned, feeling even more at peace. At least she was safe. He strode forward through the grass to rub affectionately at her muzzle, petting her neck softly a few times. Looking around, Bandana Man noticed a note taped to a nearby tree. He stepped closer to read it.

_You can leave Cassie here. You won't be needing her anymore._

Well that was a bit creepy. And kind of a cliff hanger. No more directions? Clues? He waved Kendall over and had him read it.

"Does that mean we're where we're supposed to be?" he said. "Because I don't see any bad guys in the trees or bushes or anything, so there must be more, righ-"

"Bandana Man," Kendall interrupted, pointing with two fingers. Bandana Man turned his head. And gasped.

There was a _huge_ building, extravagant and intricate in design. It looked like a pretty sweet place, except for the fact that there was a giant spiraled rain cloud hovering over it, lighting jetting down to snap at the ominous-looking spires jutting from the rooftop. It was almost like a castle, moat and all, except more modern. A modern castle. Like-

Wait. Wait just a second, Bandana Man recognized this place. He'd been here before, or at least in a dream, or a parallel universe. Real or not, he _knew _this place- of course! It all made sense now! This place belonged to-

* * *

_WHO? WHO? WHO DOES IT BELONG TO, WE HAVE TO KNOWWWWWWWWWW..._

_Tune in next time to find out! Because we get back to Carlos and find out who the MASTERMIND behind everything is! Suspenseful, yes. BUT TOO BAD BECAUSE I KNOW WHO IT IS AND YOU DON'T MUHAHA. _

_And woah, where did this come from? Longest chapter of the story? SIX pages? WOW. A record! Because I worked on it all day because my soul matest soul mate told everone to read this which makes me super happy because OMG which led to the lovely ashleyjordan reviewing EVERY chapter of this so far, and seriously, that is COMMITMENT right there, and she leaves such nice, cool reviews, so this chapter is practically dedicated to her because if she hadn't reviewed I wouldn't have written this chapter or made it so long. SO YOU CAN THANK HER. 8D_

_Yaaaayyyy things between Bandana Man and Kendall are all solved and sunshine and rainbows! Yaaayyy! (no I'm serious about the rainbows did you see how quick Bandana Man was to just GRAB onto Kendall? LYKEOMGTTLY 8D -stabbed-) But I've had that part planned for a while now so yaaay. Finally got done. And also they MADE it. WOOHOO. And what would a BTR fanfic be without another wonderful motivational speech by Kendall? Because Kendall was the douche who made Bandana Man all angsty in the first place, good job, by the way. I think it was expected of him to fix that. And I don't know where the slight angst came from. Probably me. -dies-_

_So in honor of keeping Author's Notes shorter than the story, I hereby end this one right... here._


	21. Think of the Kittens!

_I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so extremely sorry about the delay, I said it was gonna be a really quick update, it wasn't, this took me forever, I'm SO sorry. You don't even know how sorry I am. Hope this chapter makes up for it?_

* * *

"Gustavo!" Carlos cried, voice stumbling over shock and dread. "_You're_ behind this?"

"_Yes,_ Carlos, for the millionth time, _I am behind this!_" Gustavo was getting more than fed up by now, but Carlos just couldn't help it. He'd walked into the room, with hopes of maybe getting back to Kelly in a few minutes, but the second he'd seen the round, crowded face of maybe one of his least favorite people in the world, everything had flushed out of him. _Gustavo_ had been the one to lock him and Kelly up in a dungeon cell, deprive him of urination for the longest time, and hook him up to a rope hanging over a death trap with possibly three to five minutes to live? His hands were tied above his head and hooked to a hanging rope, the only thing holding him above the death trap a mere five feet beneath him. It didn't seem that far when there were crooked dorsal fins spiraling cleanly through the water of the tank. So it wasn't alligators, but that made sense now, because Gustavo probably needed his alligators to guard the moat. His wrists were burning from the strain, but somehow that didn't seem like such a big deal anymore.

"Now, you may be wondering why you're here," Gustavo began in that tone of I'm-going-to-tell-you-my-evil-plan-now-so-that-I-can-feed-you-to-my-pet-sharks.

"A little," Carlos admitted lightly, nervously staring down at the circling twin dorsal fins.

"Well," he said, putting emphasis on the word, "As you know, you and the other dogs have been training unusually hard this past week." He paused to give Carlos time to remember, which, as much as he hated to admit it, he needed. In his defense, however, he _had_ been kidnaped (and very nearly suffocated), tied up, locked up, distressed, and hooked to a death trap in the past twenty-four hours, and it was somewhat difficult to think back before all this. "And," Gustavo continued, tearing Carlos' thoughts apart to glue them to himself, "most of it was spent with complaint and blatant disregard for my orders." He glared accusingly at Carlos, who flinched slightly, burning pain flaring up in his wrists. He felt uncomfortable, to say the least, being so vulnerable like this, with Gustavo staring him down and him hanging feebly over certain death. Exposed was a more accurate word. He felt exposed. He did not like it.

"Especially you." Oh, Carlos did not enjoy the tone Gustavo held with that second word. Condemning. Even though he was already in the position he was, just. That made the dread pooling in his stomach solidify and make his weight seem like so much more. Heavier. The rope was going to snap.

"See, out of the four of you dogs, you're the one who was goofing off the most. I swear, you're worse than Kendall was the first week you got here. Taking nothing seriously, making a joke out of everything I do... Not that he doesn't still do that on a daily basis..." he muttered to himself, thick disapproval evident in his voice. "But you," he continued more loudly, "have been absolutely, completely, and utterly uncontrollable this week, and have therefore learned _nothing._" Carlos swallowed. "And that's why you're here."

"T-" Carlos cleared his throat uncertainly. "To learn?" Not the School of Rocque again. Anything, _anything _but that.

"To sing," Gustavo clarified.

"_What?_" That was the most absurd thing Carlos had ever heard. In his life, possibly. Most of all the epitome of the complete opposite of anything Carlos had been expecting him to say. He really, seriously expected him to sing while hanging by his wrists over a pool of man-eating sharks? _What?_

Gustavo sighed and began pacing. He was standing on a raised platform in front of Carlos, the metal clanging with every step. Carlos, quite frankly, was surprised the platform hadn't collapsed with his weight. It looked particularly flimsy with the large man pacing slowly back and forth across it. As if in response to his thoughts, it groaned and creaked ominously, the sound ringing in Carlos' ears. Gustavo stopped.

"Carlos." The boy hummed his acknowledgment in strain. "You see these ropes?" He gestured to the railing in front of him, and Carlos saw that there were, indeed, five ropes knotted tightly to the painted metal. His eyes traced them up, up, up, over one of the thick pipes in the ceiling, then down until they reached his wrists. But it wasn't as simple as that. They were all tied in a tangled mess that he couldn't even begin to understand. So Gustavo decided to enlighten him, voice loud, deep, and final.

"Each one is tied to the next. A simple contraption, really. And we won't even have to put it to use if you only cooperate."

"By singing?" Carlos asked a little breathlessly, the pain in his wrists putting a little strain on him.

"Yes," Gustavo declared loudly, making Carlos wince. "You see, Carlos, you are here to improve. The record company isn't going to stand for much more delay. Either we get this band running immediately, or cut off the project altogether." He paused, and Carlos couldn't help but wonder what Big Time Rush had to do with this. Well, obviously he had to sing, but was Gustavo really going to go about it this way? Deep down inside, past all the complaints and exasperation he held for the larger, unpleasant man, Carlos was scared. He could only hope the feeling would remain contained as an ominous writhing at the pit of his stomach and nothing more. Gustavo cut into his thoughts by continuing in that same threatening yet eerily authoritative voice. "_So,_ because of your inability to concentrate at the studio with the other dogs around, I've taken it upon myself to fix you in a way you can't get around. Let me put it in the most simple way I can: you will sing. You will sing what I tell you to sing, and when I tell you to sing. You will sing clearly with your best effort, and if you refuse to cooperate, you will be faced with less than desirable consequences." He paused, eyes following the ropes down to Carlos' bound wrists, the way Carlos' own eyes had done just earlier. He refocused on Carlos. "Each rope is tied to the end of the last. Each rope is exactly one foot longer than the last. The game is simple. Mess up, and one of the ropes gets cut. Got it?"

Carlos honestly didn't know what to say. He felt both his stomach and his heart drop, cascading down into the spirals and ripples and causing the sharks to flare up and tear them to bloody pieces. He stopped struggling against the ropes and momentarily forgot about the pain in his shock.

"W-wait, you're serious?" he finally squeaked.

"_Dead_ serious," Gustavo emphasized, and Carlos cringed at the way he said the first word.

"But..." he strained, glancing down nervously at the endlessly circling sharks. "Won't I, like..." He swallowed. "Die?"

"If you can't sing, you're of no worth to me or the record company," Gustavo declared, and Carlos actually felt scared. Sick to his stomach. For the first time since he'd been taken from his bedroom in the middle of the night, he felt genuine fear. It wasn't often he did, because usually he was more than fine with doing incredibly stupid things with not an ounce of fear. But this... It was serious. He could die, and Gustavo didn't care one bit. _He could die._

"B- You can't-"

"No more questions!" boomed the evil record producer. "Now, let's get on with it."

"I don't have any music, though!"

"Oh, I'm sure you already know the words to this one," Gustavo answered in an eerily steady tone. "Chorus to 'Famous,' let's go!"

"Gustavo!" Carlos cried, his voice cracking slightly from the strain. It was hurting again, and he knew with a further sinking dread that there was no way he'd be able to sing. He was going to die. "I can't!"

"What is that I hear? Disobedience?"

"No, no, I-" He cut himself off at the glaring stare of Gustavo, forcing himself to calm down. He began to sing his part of the chorus, trying desperately to keep his voice steady despite the painfully obvious fear glimmering right beneath the covers. He made it through six words before his voice broke and he cut off. Gustavo raised his eyebrows and wrapped a hand around the end of one of the thick ropes. Carlos stared, wide-eyed, and before he could do anything Gustavo pulled on the rope and it came loose.

There was a fleeting moment of utter terror in which Carlos simply dropped, the tension of the rope gone, leaving nothing holding him above the reach of the sharks below. He cried out sharply, the noise cut off as he jerked to a stop, the next rope clinging onto the one Gustavo had just loosened. Intense pain shot up through his wrists and he whimpered, trying to get his breath back.

"Gustavo, stop it!" he tried, fear cracking his voice again. But Gustavo shook his head firmly, staring at him expectantly, pudgy fingers twitching towards the next rope. Carlos panicked and tried to resume singing, but his voice just kept getting higher and higher, and Gustavo pulled the next knot.

Carlos plummeted, more pain in his wrists bringing him to a halting stop, his chest heaving. "Gustavo, I can't!" he cried in desperation.

"Do you wanna be famous?" Gustavo quoted cruelly, glaring at him as he spoke.

"No, I wanna live!" Carlos returned, almost in hysterics. "I just wanna go home and sleep and rest so I can do better at singing, I promise I will, I'm sorry!"

"It's too late for that, Carlos. You have three more tries. Mess them up, and you're done."

"Think of the kittens!" Carlos yelled, making Gustavo stop and stare in confusion.

"The kittens?"

"Yeah," Carlos pressed, trying to nod his head energetically. "The kittens, Gustavo, think of them!"

"I don't have time to think of kittens!" Gustavo roared, pulling the next rope. Carlos shrieked in terror, finding himself unable to even attempt singing again. All he could do was cry out in pain as the ropes tore mercilessly at his skin, scraping it up raw and almost bloody, putting way too much strain on him. Frantic tears pricked at his eyes and he yelled again brokenly for Gustavo to _stop._

"You can't do this!"

"Watch me," Gustavo replied, cackling evilly as he pulled at yet another rope. Another one foot drop. It wasn't so much when looking at the distance at any other time, but to Carlos it was like he was dropping miles. One foot left. One rope left. The dorsal fins were almost close enough to scrape against his feet. He whimpered again, trying desperately to hold himself together. He was going to die. He was going to die.

"Now," Gustavo began, completely aware of the fact that Carlos looked like he was about to cry and/or pee his pants, "this is your last chance. Are you going to sing for me, or is this where we say bye-bye to Carlos?"

"You're an evil, evil man!" Carlos yelled as loudly as he could. "I hope you rot in a ditch forever!"

Not the best choice of words.

Gustavo glared menacingly at him before waving and saying lowly, "Goodbye, Carlos."

He pulled the rope.

* * *

_Then the sharks ate Carlos and Bandana Man failed his mission. James never got his lucky comb back and Logan was sent into a spiraling depression stemming from his bottomless guilt that he hadn't in any way tried to help Bandana Man on his failed quest to rescue Carlos. THE END._

_Okay, another cliff hanger SO does NOT make up for it. I'M SO SORRY. But wow, this is the angstiest chapter I've written for this story. SORRY I COULDN'T HELP IT. AGH. But hey, I finallyFINALLY got it up, and you get to know who owns the mansion/castle! I couldn't use the word mansion in the previous chapter because it would totally give it all away. SORRY. But do you think it's good enough? Plot twist? Or were you expecting that? I know I would be if this weren't my story. Anyway, TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE EPIC OF BANDANA MAN! FIND OUT: DOES CARLOS LIVE, OR IS BANDANA MAN TOO LATE? WILL WE EVER FIND OUT? DEPENDS ON HOW FAST THIS JERK UPDATES. FIND OUT NEXT TIME. But before that review please. PLEASE. I KNOW I DON'T DESERVE IT BUT REALLY. IT'S NOT FAIR._

_And Unnatural History is gay because now I feel like an unoriginal poop. WHATEVER, JASPER, YOU CAN GO HAVE BLADDER PROBLEMS ELSEWHERE. YOU JERK._

_OH also, just to let you know, I did actually make the rope contraption in real life out of red yarn because I wanted to see if it works AND IT DOES. BAHAHA._


	22. Epic Battle of Fate and Destiny

_HEY EVERYONE. I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS LAST CHAPTER TOTALLY THE WORK OF THE DEVIL I DON'T KNOW WHAT POSESSED ME TO FORGET BUT ANYWAY MISS FENWAY'S LITTLE HOLLOW IS THE REASON I PROCRASTINATED SO MUCH ON IT BECAUSE I WAS READING AND REVIEWING IT AND IT IS SO FREAKING GOOD AND I SWEAR IT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER NO REALLY GO READ ON MY PROFILE I UPDATED IT. BUT THIS IS SERIOUSLY AMAZING AND IF YOU ALL READ IT TOO YOU'LL UNDERSTAND. READ IT AND REVIEW IT. _

ht tp:/ /www. fanfiction. net/s/5972660/1/Little_Hollow

* * *

A cut-off scream, a cry of surprise, and-

_Crash!_

_Bandana Man rolled to a stop on the hard cement floor, Carlos wrapped tightly in the firm protection of his strong arms. He only had a second to register Carlos' shocked, disbelieving expression before another sound reached his ears and he looked up to see a chuckling Gustavo._

"I see you were able to make it in time, Bandana Man," he said. "Just in time, it seems."

"It's over, Gustavo!" Bandana Man declared, bringing himself and Carlos to their feet.

"Yes, quite," Gustavo agreed. "I hope you enjoyed your time in existence."

Bandana Man tilted his head to the side, confused until he heard the sharp cry of Kendall's warning. "Bandana Man, look out!"

He turned just in time to see the razor red shooting past his face. Kendall was standing in the doorway of the room, trying to wrestle the gun away from a big, bulky guy, who had evidently taken the shot. Bandana Man recognized him as the guy who had tried to prevent entrance to them before they'd heard Carlos' scream and Kendall had been able to hold him off long enough for Bandana Man to spring though the door and rescue Carlos.

"He has a laser!" Carlos cried, just before another shot was fired, narrowly missing his own head. Bandana Man's eyes widened and he cartwheeled into action, Carlos right on his heels. He was yelling something about someone named Steve, apparently having given the guard that name. It did seem like something Carlos would do. But there wasn't time for that. Bandana Man ran for this "Steve" character as fast as he could, narrowly avoiding the shots fired haphazardly at him. Kendall was still trying to wrestle the gun away from him, and Carlos wasn't too far behind Bandana Man. It was just enough distraction for Bandana Man to careen into Steve and throw him off balance. There was a moment in which it seemed as if Bandana Man would be able to steal the laser gun from the guard's grasp, but then the doors to the room exploded open with resounding bangs with the arrival of maybe nine or ten more henchmen, all built the same as Steve. Bandana Man was so dismayed that he was momentarily distracted and Steve was able to throw him off. Bandana Man crashed to the ground, instantly freezing when he looked up to see Steve pointing the laser gun straight at him. Kendall and Carlos were occupied with the new arrivals, and there was just about nothing he could do. Steve grinned in victory, finger on the trigger-

"Bandana Man!" They both glanced up at the sound of the voice, startled for a moment, just in time for Kendall's backpack to slam into Steve's face. He stumbled backward, clutching his nose, giving Bandana Man enough time to leap to his feet and grasp one of the straps in his fingers, ready to attack again. Before Steve could recover he swung the bag as hard as he could into his hand, sending the gun flying and skittering off into a corner nowhere near all the commotion. Blood gushed out from between Steve's fingers on his face, his eyes blazing as he glared at Bandana Man with unbridled hatred. It only took one more powerful hit to the face knock him unconscious. Bandana Man winced as he hit the floor, hard, but he didn't have any more time to think about it because the second Steve was down there was another guy trying to beat the crap out of him.

It was chaos, it was exhilarating, it was exhausting. Bandana Man felt that he had gone through so much today that he wasn't going to be able to handle these guys alone. He was tiring out, and evidently Kendall had noticed because suddenly he was by his side, helping him fight off anyone who got too near. Then Carlos had joined them, and they were all three back to back, stuck right in the middle of the circle of henchmen. Bandana Man was filled with a new strength now that he had the aid of his friends. It seemed like he could do anything. Each blow he delivered made him feel the thrill more intensely, and he found himself cackling as he flipped and twisted and slammed his fists into anything he could reach. Henchman after henchman went down, but just as the last one fell, ten more would burst in through the doors, and _how_ did Gustavo have so many working for him, anyway? Where was Gustavo, by the way? The henchmen kept coming, but their obese leader wasn't anywhere in sight. His post on the platform of the torture device was deserted, but Bandana Man's search couldn't really expand beyond that, because the second he lost focus a giant meaty fist had pounded him in the side of the head.

Crying out in pain and rage, Bandana Man struck back fiercely, still aided with the heavy weight of Kendall's backpack. What did he have in there, bricks? How did he think bricks were gonna help rescue Carlos? Probably for this very reason. Kendall always thought ahead, it was just the sort of thing a good leader would d-

"Carlos!" Bandana Man's head snapped to the side just in time to see Carlos stumbling backward into the arms of a particularly large guard, his hand clutched to his ear while his face screwed tightly in pain. Kendall was under the assault of two henchmen, so there was nothing he could do as Carlos was lifted helplessly into the air, strong arms locked around him so tightly it appeared he was having trouble breathing. Bandana Man took down the guard he was battling viciously and immediately struck out towards the enemy, the sick-minded _freak_-

Carlos' attacker went down in a matter of seconds as Kendall's backpack swung violently hard into the back of his head, Carlos dropping back to the concrete floor and coughing slightly. Bandana Man wanted to make sure he was okay but then there was another henchman occupying his attention and-

The more guys Bandana Man took down, the more he began to wear down. He was getting frighteningly tired, his energy dwindling too quickly for him to grasp. His reactions were getting slower and his attacks weaker. He could tell Kendall and Carlos were also tiring, and it was scaring him. What were they going to do, fight until they dropped to the ground from exhaustion? Then what?

It didn't seem to matter, because Bandana Man took down one last guard, and then there was- nothing? It didn't feel right, but as Bandana Man stood, trying to catch his breath, there was no one. The room was empty, littered with the unconscious bodies of Gustavo's henchmen, the big guy himself nowhere to be seen. It was- ominous. But he didn't have any more time to think about it because Carlos was staggering towards him with open arms and a defeated yet satisfied look on his face. Bandana Man accepted him into his embrace and felt Carlos' arms snake around to his back, locking there.

"You saved me," he whispered into Bandana Man's shoulder, and Bandana Man completely forgot about everything else in the reassurance that he had in fact rescued Carlos and everything was going to be okay. Suddenly he remembered something.

"Oh," he said, reaching into Kendall's backpack, glancing up momentarily to see Kendall dragging the guards' bodies away to a more secluded part of the room rather than gathered around them in a heap of chaos. Grinning slightly, Bandana Man pulled out a large object that had probably been a lot of the reason the backpack had been so effective as a weapon. Carlos' eyes widened in pure joy when he saw his long-lost helmet and snatched it out of Bandana Man's hands, slapping it onto his head with a vigor that almost made the superhero cringe, but Carlos seemed too happy to care.

"You really _are_ a hero!" he cried, grinning so hard it seemed as if his face were going to split. "Thanks so much!"

"It's my job," Bandana Man informed him, placing his fists on his hips before Carlos went in for another heartfelt hug.

"You're the best!" It made Bandana Man's heart feel warm, and he was so caught up in the moment that he almost missed what happened next.

"Look out!"

It was so sudden that he didn't even have the time to register what had happened until it was too late. Something careened into his side, sending him and Carlos both crashing to the ground, flying out to the side, the impact driving the breath out of him. There was a sharp cry that rang out so loud it pierced Bandana Man's ears painfully, and an anguished cry followed that. In the confusion of it all he managed to raise his head and scan his eyes over the scene before him, Carlos still sprawled over him from the fall to the cold cement. Bandana Man felt his eyes widen in distress and he could only watch in horror as the moment seemed to slow down and a single face caught itself firmly in his memory as its form crashed to the ground, features contorted in pain.

"_Logan!"_

_YAY ALL THE BOYS ARE BACK TOGETHER FINALLY CAN I GO HOME NOW. YEAH? OKAY GOOD._

_Don't be mad at me. Because you know what this was gonna be even more of a cliff hanger because ORIGINALLY I wasn't gonna tell you it was Logan but I felt like being nice EVEN THOUGH I KILLED HIM MUHAHAHA no jk you'll see. Next chapter will be so great. TURN IT UP TURN IT UP TURN IT UP TURN IT UPPP ghghg I love this sonnnggggg I want it to be October 11th right now plzkthx. I don't actually have the engergy to type an A/N right now. I'm just trying to get this story DONE so that I can get craking on all my other amazing ideas but they won't be as amazing as this but you know. This story started sucking when Logan decided that Bandana Man isn't real, SO REALLY, HE JUST GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HIM. HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED._

_No but really I think there's maybe one chapter left of this story and maybemabyemaaaaaybe one more after that because I'm still not sure how exactly I'm gonna end it but just know the next chapter will be epic and I've been planning this scene since about chapter seven or eight so it's gonna be AMAZING and I know you'll love it. Oh yeah I know in the summary it says James/Carlos but I don't actually think that will happen. It will in v2. Just not here. I have better plans for this._

_So I don't even deserve reviews anymore, but wouldn't that be great if you did it anyway? Because you know I don't actually feel like finishing the story if no one reviews, and wouldn't it suck if I just cut it off right at the very last chapter? Yeah. So review._


	23. Return

_This chapter is dedicated to One Man Writing Games, for pushing me to write this by saying annoying things like 'pal' and 'buddy', FeverRomance for missing out on class to read this (SHAME!), and Miss Fenway, because the whole time I was writing this I was thinking of her. WARNING: SEVERE ANGST. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I'M GONNA FAIL ENGLISH BECAUSE OF THIS. ENJOY._

* * *

Gustavo stood in all his twisted glory, if that word could even be associated with the horrid creature, clutching the forgotten laser gun in his meaty fingers, thin trails of smoke pouring from its nose. Carlos was gaping in horror; sure, Gustavo had almost _killed_ him, but he'd never even considered the possibility of him hurting someone else, especially _Logan._ Even now the image of Logan balled up and clutching his stomach where the laser had hit was plastered harshly to the backs of his eyelids, but it must have been something double because it was there no matter what he did; when he closed his eyes, the nightmare was there, and when he opened them, there was Logan, obviously in a large amount of pain.

The second it became clear what had happened, Bandana Man had shot up and gone for Gustavo, roaring in fury. Carlos wasn't really paying attention, because he was still in a shock. Where had Logan even come from? He hadn't been anywhere during the fray of the battle, or the end of it, so where had he come in? Carlos knew what had happened: just when they thought everything was over, Gustavo had taken the opportunity of the guards let down to attack, and then Logan had pushed them out of the way just in time, absorbing the shot for himself. That made sense, right? Carlos was way too shaken up right now to know.

"Carlos!" Kendall broke through his thoughts, and Carlos snapped his head over to see the blond running to him- no, running to _Logan._ Something clicked in his head, and he rushed over to the hurt boy, getting there first, being closer.

Logan was still curled up, hands grasping at the wound on his stomach. He was shaking and had his eyes screwed shut so tightly Carlos thought they would stick like that forever. He reached out and placed a hand on Logan's shoulder, voice thick with fear as he tried to say, "Logan, come on." He didn't know what he meant with that, exactly, but he hoped it wasn't something along the lines of, "Logan, come on, don't _die,_" because he couldn't even bear to think about something like that. All he could do was pray that it wasn't _that _bad.

In the background Carlos could vaguely hear shouts and yells coming from where Bandana Man and Gustavo were battling it out, but he felt drained, unable to do anything about anything. He just sat uselessly and stared at Logan like it would help in some way.

Kendall reached them then, moving Carlos aside so he could get to Logan. He had his backpack and was trying to get it open while also dealing with Logan. Carlos took it and did it for him.

"Logan," Kendall said clearly, his hand falling on the boy's shoulder. Logan's eyes opened, dark with anxiety and pain. So much pain. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but all he could manage was a small whimper. Carlos didn't ever want to hear a noise like that again. "Logan, come on. You need to let me see." And Kendall's voice was shaking. _Kendall_ was scared. Everything that had happened to Carlos throughout the past ten hours finally caught up with him, this being just the right thing to push him over. He began to cry silently.

Logan shook his head at Kendall's words, but Kendall didn't relent. "_Logan,_" he pressed. "Let me see." He was firm and Logan slowly, so slowly he put snails to shame, tried to loosen himself from the ball he had forced himself into and removed his vibrating hands from the wound, and the second it became visible, Carlos gasped. It wasn't bleeding, but it was still just as scary; it looked like a ball of fire had burned a hole through his shirt and right into his skin. The frayed, singed edges of the tear seemed to frame the mutilated skin beneath, glossy red and angry-looking. It made Carlos cry harder.

Kendall seemed to be a little out of breath. In fact, he looked like he was going to be sick. But Logan was panting and making that pathetic whimper again, and Carlos wanted it all to stop. He wanted to wake up from a deep, peaceful sleep and forget about all of this, go and eat chocolate chip pancakes with his friends, maybe have Fishsick Friday later on. He just wanted it all to end right now.

Suddenly there was a loud, far-off slam the echoed throughout the huge room, startling Carlos out of his thoughts. He tore his eyes from the terrible sight of Logan to see Bandana Man dashing back to them, long legs carrying him to them faster than anything. When he arrived, out of breath, Carlos couldn't help but ask him, sniffling, "W-where's Gustavo?"

"Locked him in a closet," Bandana Man panted, dropping to his knees next to Kendall and Logan. His eyes were hard and glaring at first, but the second he set his gaze on Logan that all disappeared. His face paled and he got a lost, despairing look in his eye. "Logan," he murmured more quietly, reaching out and touching his chest right above the wound. Logan shivered violently and flinched away from the touch, his eyes locking with Bandana Man's.

Kendall's fingers brushed Carlos' arm and when the latter looked up, Kendall was motioning for him to back away with him. Carlos, slightly confused, obeyed, but when he looked back at Logan and Bandana Man, he understood. This was something private. He tried to stifle his sniffles, firmly holding to the belief that it was going to be fine, Logan was going to be _fine._

Then Bandana Man did something astounding, something that blew Carlos' mind.

He pulled his mask from his face.

Suddenly Bandana Man was disappeared into thin air, and James knelt in his place, gently taking Logan up in his arms and lifting him so he was sitting. Carlos could only watch in awe as the almost unearthly exchange unfolded.

Logan was still clouded with unbelievable pain; it felt like his insides were exploding in fiery violence, and it had to be the most horrible thing he had ever experienced. He could barely think through it all, but suddenly the masked figure above him had gone, and James was in his place. It all seemed right to him then. He could feel the horrible, burning pain shifting around sickeningly inside of him as James moved him upwards, strong arm around his back to keep him up. They were really close, so it was easy for Logan to keep his eyes locked over James'. He forced a small smirk onto his face, managing it through all the pain enveloping his body at the moment.

"L... Looks like... you really were there... all the time..." he wheezed, cringing slightly as another pang raced through him. James shook his head with wide eyes, and were those tears..?

"Logan, shh," he quieted, placing a shaky hand over the side of his face, and Logan's head rolled over slightly to lean into the touch. It was incredible to Logan, because he knew all along who Bandana Man really was inside, but he hadn't wanted any part of it, because it had seemed so ridiculous at the time; why should James play these pointless games that did nothing but aggravate others around him? But it seemed like it was _so_ important to James, so now to have him just throw it away like that, it really meant a lot to Logan. And while he was in the worst pain imaginable, he couldn't have been happier.

"James," Logan tried again softly, but James quieted him again. He didn't let that stop him, though. "Listen," he pleaded weakly, and James fell silent. "I... I'm sorry." He swallowed and licked his lips, whimpering slightly when the pain washed over him again like it was just coming for the first time. He had to take another moment to compose himself, forcing himself not to try to curl up again and clutch at the wound. His rational mind told him that wouldn't be the best choice of action. "I... was uns-supportive, and- _ngh-_" He had to stop again, and yes, there were definitely tears in James' eyes. After squeezing his eyes shut to fend off another wave of the horrible, horrible pain, he opened them again to stare right into James'. "I should ha-have been th... been there. S-s-supported you. I- I didn't- w-was _ah-_ I- wrong. S-s-s- _Hnng-_ Sor-ry-"

"Logan, stop it," James pleaded in desperation, seeing that the boy was falling apart, his eyes growing more distant as the pain began to overtake him. But Logan wouldn't stop, he kept mumbling on and on, broken syllables that all had the sound of the word 'sorry.' Tears spilled and cascaded over his cheeks, and he said again, "Logan, _stop._"

And Logan did stop. He seized up, a soft, strangled whine catching in his throat, his eyes clouding over before falling shut as he relaxed, limp in James' arms.

* * *

_Since I know I'm gonna get a million reviews on thie, I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHETHER LOGAN'S DEAD OR ALIVE HAHAHA BECAUSE YOU ALL PISS ME OFF no just kidding I love you all PLEASE REVIEW AND FREAK OUT ABOUT LOGAN OR JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THE TERRIBLE TURN THIS STORY TOOK. AGH. I'm sorry. BUT HEY. IN CELEBRATION OF THE ALBUM (WHICH IS **AMAZING**) AND THE NEW EPISODE (WHICH WILL ALSO BE AMAZING) I PROMISE I WILL UPDATE ON THE ELEVENTH. I SWEAR. IT'S A COMMITMENT. POSSIBLY EVEN THE LAST CHAPTER. I LOVE YOU ALL. THIS CHAPTER WASN'T STUPPOSED TO END THIS WAY AND IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TURN OUT THIS WAY AND HOMOS THE END. Please please PLEASE REVEW. Oh, and have any of you ever heard of One Man Writing Games? Legend has it that she's the soul mate of the person who wrote this story you're reading. So if you read this, you HAVE to go read and review all her stories, okay? Please? SHE DESERVES IT SO MUCH GO DO IT NOW OR NO LAST CHAPTER FOR YOU. AND SHE WILL TELL ME. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No really go do it or there will seriously be no last chapter I will write it and send it to One Man Writing Games and Miss Fenway only and none of the rest of you will get to know LOGAN DIED HA. WHAT NOW._


	24. All is Revealed!

_So I feel horriblehorriblehorrible for not submitting this yesterday. I legit stayed up 'til like eleven thirty or something and was about two sentences away from finishing when my mom caught me and made me go to bed and I feel sosososososo bad for lying to you AGAIN but yesterday was horrible anyway and -sniff- I don't wanna talk about it/ -hangs head and gestures below- (longest chapter ever!)_

_Oh ps this chapter is actually dedicated to, like everyone who ever reviewed and did not just put something like, "Update!" because like. That is horrible. Shame on you. It's dedicated to: Miss Fenway for being amazing amazing and totally obsessed with this forever and I feel EVEN MORE bad for not getting this out yesterday but she read the last chapter like a billion times and I lover her for it so the little MOMENT at the end is didecated to her. Also it is dedicated to One Man Writing Games because she is my soul matest soul mate and deserves eveything to be dedicated to her and I love her muchhhhhhh and yeah we MET over this story so I feel like it has this HUGE obligation towards her so yeah the whole thing is pretty much dedicated to her. The end. Oh and Miss Fenway._

_I'd also like to thank ashleyjordan for being a coo' foo' and reading this all the way as well as my other stories AND she leaves actual good reviews that aren't "Update!" or "Liek O M G this was soooooooo grate!" or something like that and I love her for it. And there were many others of you who left seriously good reviews and I really don't deserve all that so thank you thank you thank youuuuuuuuu._

_I will say this one last time, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go take a look at One Man Writing Games' stuff, she is a GENIUS and I love her forever and ever and ever. I have to advertise this everywhere that SHE. WILL BE WRITING A COMPANION FIC TO HER AMAZING "WHY I'M HOME." PLEASEEEEEPLEASEPLEASE GO READ THAT IT IS AMAZING AND NEEDS SO MUCH ATTENTION AND THE COMPANION IS GONNA BE AMAZING TOO SO SERIOUSLY GO READ IT AND REVIEW IT NOWNOWNOWNOWNOW._

_Uh, so yeah. Without further ado (but the ado was important!) here is the last chapter EVER:_

* * *

The world was dark and cold to Logan with a lack of coherence, but things were gradually warming up and starting to make sense. Well. He thought so. He wasn't sure, exactly. It was all very confusing. For some reason he had the feeling of floating through empty space, but at the same time there was something soft caressing his whole body. It made absolutely no sense, and it was really rather agitating. He tried his hardest to get everything to fit together correctly, and it came slowly, sluggishly, like microscopic bacteria floating motionlessly through water, the barely existent current carrying them on their way. Hey, now things were starting to make sense... he thought...

James' head snapped up when he heard a soft groan, and he stared with wide eyes at the boy on the bed. "Logan? Logan, are you awake? Open your eyes if you're awake. I promise I won't poke them this time."

Obviously Logan didn't trust him, because his eyes remained firmly shut- but he did let out another soft, tired groan, the first sign of life James had encountered from the boy besides a steady rise and fall of the chest in the last twenty-four hours. It was the most exciting thing to happen, and he didn't want it to be ruined just because Logan wasn't going to open his eyes. Impatiently James reached forward with one hand and placed it over Logan's shoulder, shaking him gently and ordering him to wake up.

"Mmm... N-no... Stooooppp..." And words. They were _words._ James' heart fluttered and leapt and rolled over repeatedly in such a way he was surprised he wasn't having a seizure from the activity of it all.

"Logan?" he brightened, unable to stop the smile that overtook his lips despite the fact that Logan still looked weaker than anything he'd ever cared to see. "Logan, seriously, if you're awake, open your eyes _right now._"

When Logan again didn't obey, James frowned slightly. "...Now? Now. Now now nownownow-"

"James," Logan groaned, and this time instead of sounding lost and weak, it sounded irritated and complaining. James' face was relit in a second.

"That's my name!" he cried in excitement. He turned to shout out the open doorway, "Kendall, Carlos, come here! Logan's waking up!"

"Ughhh, shut uuup," Logan complained again, and when James looked back at him, he was still beaming his teeth off.

"Logan, Logan come on, open your eyes it's _not that hard._"

"Nnnnn..." Logan grumbled, swatting vaguely at James' hand, which was starting to shake him again. "Go away..."

"What's going on?" Kendall demanded in intrigue, poking his head in the door only to be knocked completely out of the way by Carlos, who ran into the room, helmet firmly locked over his head.

"Logan?" he shrieked, eyes searching the room like Logan was gonna be somewhere that_ wasn't_ in his bed.

"Shhhhhh." All eyes snapped to Logan. "Hurts... Stop."

"Carlos, shut up!" James whisper-yelled, glaring daggers at the energetic boy, who had taken a page out of James' book and was also beaming.

"You shuddup, James..." Logan mumbled, eyes scrunching in discomfort. "Stomach feels weeeeiiiird..."

"Weird?" James perked up in sudden worry. "Weird how?"

"Hurts," Logan responded, eyebrows furrowed over his scrunched eyes. James grabbed Logan's hand in his and squeezed lightly.

"Logan, open your eyes. C'mon."

"No... 'M sleeping..."

"You're awake," James stated stubbornly, beginning to get a little irritated. Seeing this, Kendall decided to intervene.

"James, maybe you should just leave him," he suggested, but James shook his head.

"Kendall, he's awake. He just thinks I'm gonna do something to him if he opens his eyes."

"What?"

"Nothing."

James hasn't told Kendall about the incident.

"Logan, James isn't gonna hurt you," Carlos stepped in. "And neither will I. Kendall might, though."

"I will _not,_" Kendall protested firmly, making Carlos giggle.

"Kidding."

"Logan," James pleaded. "I promise I won't- _do_ anything," he glanced at Kendall, "and really, I don't want your stomach to hurt. So could you please open your eyes and like, look at me?"

"Fiiiiiiiiiine," Logan drew out, and it was like a miracle. Like James was focusing all his energy on those shut eyelids, staring at them with all his might, like if he hadn't been they wouldn't have tensed and flipped open to reveal deep, chocolate brown eyes.

"Woah," James said, leaning back and placing a hand over his heart. Kendall rolled his eyes and Carlos grinned, but Logan looked confused.

"What?"

"Your _eyes_."

"Wh...at about them? Is... Is something wrong?"

"Nope," James beamed, giving Logan two big thumbs ups. He looked so out of it that he couldn't even comprehend the sight of one thumb stuck straight out of his hand, much less _two._ James waggled them around in his face.

"Okay- o_kay,_ that's enough," Kendall snapped, jumping forward and smacking James' hands away from Logan's face. James snickered; Logan looked completely lost. "Logan, you don't look right."

"And you're acting weird!" Carlos popped in. Kendall sighed.

"Yes. You're acting weird. Did you... like... hit your head somewhere or something?"

"What? I don't _have_ a head..." Logan trailed off. Kendall, James, and Carlos exchanged glances, all silently agreeing that Logan had _definitely _hit his head somewhere.

"Must've been when he fell after getting hit..." Kendall guessed, Carlos and James nodding in agreement.

"Or maybe it was when James dropped him," Carlos chirped.

"I did _not!_" James squalled in indignation. "That was Bandana Man!"

"Bandana Man _left!_"

"Bandana Man-"

"Bandana Man?"

All attentions were once again focused on Logan, who had spoken up. His eyebrows were furrowed in everlasting confusion, and James was the first to recover. "Uh... Yeah. You remember him, don't you?" He wasn't so sure. Logan nodded profusely.

"Of course I do. He was the whole reason I left home. Well, sort of. It was kind of Kendall."

James flashed a look at Kendall, whose face was carefully expressionless, before asking Logan, "What happened, exactly?"

"Well, I was all angry at home because you were being ridiculous, and then Kendall started packing up stuff to go help you because you weren't back with Carlos yet and all he was doing all morning was walking around and thinking and stuff so I told him he shouldn't go, and we had a fight, and he said I'm a bad friend, and I thought for a long time after he left, and then I followed him. Then Gustavo was gonna shoot you, and I... pushed you... out of the..." His features cleared in realization. "That's why my stomach hurts." He glanced down as if just realizing he was shirtless and bandaged- well, actually he_ was_ just realizing it. It was like looking down and seeing a tentacle poking out through the middle of his stomach. "...Woah."

"Feeling better?" James queried, and Logan nodded.

"I remember everything now."

"Good."

"So, James, where's Bandana Man?"

"Hanging in the closet," James let off easily, and Logan grinned.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and everyone looked at each other, daring anyone but himself to answer it. Finally Kendall rolled his eyes and pushed up from leaning in the doorway. "I'll get it," he drawled as if it were a chore. When he left Logan immediately spoke up.

"So what's your guys' stories?" James and Carlos exchanged glances.

"I was kidnaped," Carlos prompted.

"I got a letter that said he was kidnaped," James finished. Logan rolled his eyes.

"I already _knew_ that. I mean, what happened when you were kidnaped, and what did Bandana Man do about it?" He looked expectantly at both of them. James sighed.

"Well, I took a cab, and then I went on a wild goose chase, and then I met this annoying jerk named Rich and then I had to endure twelve minutes of _country_ music and I got Carlos' helmet and then there was a horse named Cassie and a canyon and Spiderman and the trail and I was super hungry and Kendall shared with me and then there was this cave and bats and we lost Cassie and then there were trees and it was pretty but there was a cloud over Gustavo's mansion and so we-"

"James," Logan interrupted. "You're not making any sense. Slow _down._"

James huffed. "So, Kendall and I got to the mansion and there was this moat, totally filled with all these crocodiles, right? Or maybe they were alligators... Anyway, Kendall and I had long legs so we were able to just jump across the moat- good thing you and Carlos weren't the ones adventuring-"

"Hey!"

"-and so we got in and then there were all these hallways, right? Well we almost didn't know where to go, so we were gonna have this big fight about it. But then, _I,_ with my amazing hearing skills-"

"_I'm _the one who heard him!" Kendall shouts from the other room.

"Lies!" James answered defiantly before relaunching into his epic tale, "So I- or it _may_ have been Kendall- heard Carlos from somewhere in the mansion, so we went off to find him, following the sound of his voice. It got louder and louder the farther we went into the place, and it was like a _maze,_ there were so many rooms and hallways. But we got to this one door at the end of a hallway and there this huge guy blocking it-"

"Steve," Carlos broke in helpfully, and James nodded at him.

"Yeah, Steve. Well, Kendall and I were trying to fight him off, but he was _big_ and it was like there was no way to get past him, but then I heard Carlos scream and Kendall distracted Steve while I showed that door who was _boss_ and then I rescued Carlos _just in __**time.**_" James nodded heroically, and Logan looked fascinated.

"Wow, that's... pretty great."

"You mean awesome?"

"Sure."

"My turn!" Carlos burst out. Both heads turned to him, but before he could get started, Kendall stuck his head in the room.

"Hey. James. You forgot something." He held something up in his hand and waved it around, and when James realized what it was he was immediately on his feet and rushing for Kendall.

"Be careful with that!" he shrieked, eyes wide with actual fear. "Kendall, you'll drop it, give it back, I haven't seen this thing in _years!_"

Okay, so it wasn't _years,_ but James realized it had been so long that he had actually _forgotten_ about his lucky comb. But then he realized he was wrong again, because there was absolutely _no_ way he could ever forget about his _lucky comb._

For the first time in his life, James had found something more important than his personal treasures.

It was like... Yeah, the lucky comb had been his drive at the beginning, along with saving Carlos, of course, but so many things had happened along the way that he's been distracted. Carlos' helmet, Kendall's lesson on being selfish and whiny, the epic battle of fate and destiny, Logan- not to mention the little things, like Carlos' helmet, his wristwatch- which he'd given back and was now clasped tightly around the boy's wrist (but had somehow through the duration of the adventure mysteriously changed to a dark purple hue)- and well. The thing was, somewhere along the way, James had forgotten all about his lucky comb. And as he realized that, he thought, _Wow. I really can be selfless after all._

Now he was staring at his lucky comb in wonder, but Kendall's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "James, what are you doing?"

"N-nothing, just- thinking." Kendall's eyebrows rose as his shoulders lifted in a shrug.

"Well okay- hope none of you mind, but Kelly's gonna be joining us for our epic tales of adventure and hardship."

"Kelly!" Carlos burst out as she poked her head in the door, Kendall wisely stepping out of the way as the energetic boy cannonballed for her.

"Carlos,_ don-_"

He did.

The two crashed to the floor, and as Carlos babbled excitedly about how he missed her and he was _sososo_ glad she was okay and he was sorry they forgot about her because of Logan and he hoped she wasn't down there alone crying-

"Carlos, I wasn't _crying,_ now-"

-and that he wanted her to be his best friend forever and would she make friendship bracelets with him and-

"Carlos-"

-he would love it _so_ much if she did because then they could be like-

"_Carlos-_"

-best buddies and everyone would be-

"_Carlos!_" the four others in the room burst out simultaneously. He cut off and looked around innocently. For a moment it was silent.

"Get off."

"_Oh._" He grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay," Kelly reassured as she picked herself up. "I mean, I'm just a little in pain, but I'll be fine." When Carlos looked just a little shy of heartbroken, she amended, "No really; I'm good." She grinned at him and he beamed back.

"So what's your story, Kendall?" James asked in interest, to which Carlos exclaimed in indignance.

"_Hey_, it's _my_ turn!"

"Okay, shut _up,_" James resigned, rolling his eyes, and Carlos pouted for a second before remembering his new freedom and beginning to talk in excitement.

"Okay, _so_. I was all sleeping, right? Then there was this _huge_ crash that woke me up, and then some guy shoved a sandwich in my mouth and suffocated me so I woke up in this car and we were driving and I had to pee _really really __**bad**_ but Steve wouldn't let me and he kept telling me to shut up and he wasn't very nice and he- said something mean so I stopped talking. Then we got to the mansion and he took me through some halls and then there was this _dungeon_ and _Kelly _was there and she was by best friend ever but they still wouldn't let me pee and-"

"But they _did_ let you later," Kelly spoke up, and Carlos' expression changed, his eyes widening as traumatized discomfort took over.

"I don't want to talk about that," he said softly, and there was a moment of awkward silence in which everyone except Carlos exchanged confused or worried glanced and Carlos fidgeted restlessly.

"Go on," Kendall finally prompted.

"Oh." Carlos brightened again. "So I fell asleep for a while and then I woke up and Kelly said I said some things when I was sleeping-" he exchanged a quick glance with Kelly- "and then Steve came and took me to Gustavo and there were sharks- and- and-" He cut himself off, swallowing hard. "Well, I think we all know what happened next," he finished uncomfortably, falling silent.

"Bandana Man saved the day!" James burst out heroically. Logan threw a pillow at his head.

"So how 'bout you, Kendall?" Carlos said in interest, his awkward moment apparently over. "It's your turn."

"Oh, uh."

"He swung from building to building in a buildingless wasteland."

"There were clouds!"

"The sky was clear."

"You're blind!"

"Not _color_-bl-"

"I'm Spiderman!"

James hit Kendall over the head with Logan's pillow.

"Guys!" Kelly intervened before anything violent could break out, snatching the pillow from James and holding it to her side. "So, Kendall, you were saying?"

"Hm- what?" Kendall looked at her blankly. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Your story?"

"Oh." He scratched one of his gargantuan eyebrows. "No, James pretty much told all there is to tell." He began picking the dirt out from under his nails nonchalantly while Kelly just stared at him. "What about you?"

"Me?" She looked slightly taken aback. Carlos' face broke out in a jubilant grin.

"Oh _yeah,_ Kelly, you never got to tell me what was that all about!" Kelly sighed and shook her head.

"Carlos, I really don't think-"

"_Do it._" And he looked so deranged that Kelly launched right into it, no questions asked.

"Okay, Gustavo was mad that none of you were 'learning' anything, so he decided it would be a good idea to kidnap you and _make_ you sing. Well, not all of you. Just Carlos. Because Carlos was the one who started the food fight." Carlos grinned at the memory. "So anyway, I, of course, told him it wouldn't be a good idea, but _no,_ he was _tired_ of me telling him what to do all the time, and that he was the big record producer, and blah, blah, blah. So he went _completely_ berserk and got Griffin to let him borrow some of his henchmen-"

"That's who Steve was!" Carlos broke out in realization. Everyone in the room stared at him. "I recognized him from somewhere," he mumbled more quietly.

"Anyway," Kelly continued, "he got all these guys from Griffin and locked me in a dungeon, swearing to me that he would stop at nothing the achieve- whatever it was, I wasn't listening. But I was down there for quite a while before they brought Carlos down, and- the end, I guess."

"The _end?_" Carlos cried in distress. Kelly rolled her eyes.

"Because that's when you told the rest of your story."

"But what did Carlos say in his sleep?" Logan pressed in interest, and Carlos shot him a glare. Kelly was tongue-tied, her face showing the same discomfort Carlos' had before.

"Uh- nothing," she brushed off. Logan scowled.

"Whatever, then. I don't care."

"He's lying," Carlos whispered in James' ear, the owner of which nodding his head in agreement. Suddenly Carlos seemed to remember something, whipping his head around to stare at Kelly. "Kelly!" he chirped matter-of-factly. "Are you thirsty? I'll get you some fruit water! Want some fruit water? Let's go, I'll get you some fruit water!" Kelly looked wary.

"I... guess so..?" Carlos bounced up and took Kelly's hand as he ran with her out of the room. Kendall cast his eyes up to the ceiling, shaking his head at James and Logan as he followed them.

"I'll make sure he doesn't knock the fridge over and kill her," he tossed over his shoulder. Suddenly the room seemed to be thick and weighted. James was sort of freaked out by the spontaneous change in atmosphere, but it seemed to make sense when he turned around and saw Logan looking at his hands in interest, obviously trying to avoid James' gaze. A few heavy seconds passed.

"You... don't _actually_ hate me, do you?" Logan asked, eyes firmly locked over his motionless hands. For a moment, James was confused, but then he remembered his words as the "infamous Bandana Man."

"I- Of course not, Logan. Why would I?"

"Well why wouldn't you?" Logan sighed. "I was kind of a jerk to you. Like... when you called me, and I just sort of- hung up on you."

"Yeah, what was that?" James couldn't help but ask. Logan winced slightly and James mentally kicked himself. Repeatedly.

"I was just mad..." Logan murmured. "And stupid."

"No, Logan, you're not..." James felt horrible inside. He felt horrible everywhere, in fact. He wished he had never blown up at Logan in the first place. It was... Logan was a pretty sensitive person by nature, he thought (if not, then he didn't know who he'd been hanging out with for the past eleven years), so he didn't know why he'd been so stupid as to tell Logan that he was going to make the whole world hate him. In fact, he didn't even think that was possible. There was no way _anyone_ could hate Logan, let alone _everyone._ And James hadn't even meant it. It was just a-

He figured he should be telling Logan all of this instead of just thinking it. Stupid James.

"Logan," he said, trying to coax the other into listening, actually _listening._ Logan didn't look up from his fingers, but James continued talking. "What I said was... I didn't mean it. How _could_ I mean it? You're like, the most amazing person I know- you and Kendall and Carlos," he amended, not wanting to leave the others out, "and I know that even if I wanted to, there would be no way I could convince even _one_ person to hate you. So I didn't mean any of it, okay? I don't even hate you. Ever."

Now Logan was smiling, and he looked up at the end of James' speech. "Really?"

"Of course!"

Logan averted his gaze bashfully and spread his arms wide, an invitation. James was momentarily surprised, but then Logan looked up at him with that hesitant smile and he recovered. Arms mirroring Logan's, he crawled onto the bed and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him as tightly (but not so tightly it hurt) as he could. Logan held on to him for as long as he wanted, because James wasn't a jerk or anything. When they finally broke apart, James felt warm inside. Logan looked troubled for a second, but then he moved over and patted the empty space beside him in invitation. James understood and slid under the covers with him, just as Logan yawned.

"Thanks for waking me up, jerk," he murmured tiredly, and James grinned.

"Well you were asleep forever. I was kind of worried."

"Kind of?"

"Terrified."

"Thought so."

Logan yawned again and snuggled in close to James, who wrapped an arm around him to keep him warm. Just when James was starting to feel groggy, too, he opened his mouth and mumbled, "Logan?"

"Hmm?"

"What was in Kendall's backpack?"

A few moments passed in which Logan tried to find the will to break through his drowsiness to answer. "He... Tons of energy drinks... some snacks..." He swallowed and smacked his lips a couple times tiredly, taking another moment before continuing. "...A treehat... and... and his mom's Fabio romance novel."

"Oh," James said.

And the world seemed right.

* * *

_Um yeah and it was freaking eleven pages in the document and it was the longest thing ever. Everything is revealed. Kind of. Miss Fenway... like... gave me all these hard questions so I couldn't actually answer them all because it was almost over anyway. I did the backpack one, though. Man I should've asked you guys in the last A/N._

_Anyway, this is in fact the last chapter ever of this, so EVERYONE UNALERT THIS NOW. NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW. IT'S OVER. ALL THE WAY OVER. DOOOONNNEEE. Even though it had a crappycrappy ending. I think it came out of my butt. There will be a second version of this story, which will be much more epic and a **lot** less realistic, so if that's what you're looking for (aka epic super powers battle BOOM) then stay tuned. It will be a totally separate story, though, so again. UN-A-LERT. Capiche? Oh but v2 won't be up for probably a LONGLONGLONG time because I'm pretty much done with Bandana Man forever right now. I kind of BSed my way through the last couple of chapters. Well, except the last one, but that was super angsty, so._

_Oh and the Jagan was... not random. When I decided that this thing had gone down the toilet, I thought, "Well I'm just gonna turn this story over to Jagan and then v2 will be Jarlos ALL THE WAY." So that's what's gonna happen. Plus it will be more epic. AGAIN, THOUGH: DO NOT EXPECT IT IMMEDIATELY. IT WILL TAKE A LONGLONGLONG WHILE._

_I don't think I've said everything I need to, but I'm way short on time so I hope everyone liked it as much as I thought I was gonna enjoy writing it in the beginning! LOVE TO YOU ALL._


	25. He's Real

_Screw everyone who didn't unalert this- SCREW YOU ALL._

* * *

Laughter erupted from the one occupied room of the apartment, dying down after a few moments. Logan was lying down in bed, head propped up by carefully placed pillows; James was sitting on the side of him opposite his other friends, leaning against the wall behind him, legs bent to form an arch over Logan's stomach. Carlos lay on his back on the other bed, head hanging down so he could see his friends, forehead tinted red from the rush of blood. Kendall sat on the floor leaning back against his bed to Carlos' right, turning a hockey puck over and over in his hands absentmindedly. The clock read eleven fifty-nine, but none of the boys were the least bit tired, despite Carlos' and Logan's relaxed positions.

"So wait- you actually _hitchhiked?_"

"Yep- it was awesome, you probably coulda _lived _in the back of that truck; there was a couch, a fridge, a Tv..."

"Well you did say it was a moving truck, right?" Logan interrupted.

"Yeah, but still. It was pretty awesome." James bit his lip slightly. "But then I fell asleep and the driver found me- _Rich,_" he spat, voice dripping disgust. "So much country..." He shuddered.

"What'd he do to you?" Kendall asked in interest, setting the hockey puck down on its edge and spinning it hard. James watched it for a second before launching into story mode.

"So I was all just relaxing after a hard day's work of searching for Carlos, and then the truck stops, and I wake up. The front door closes, it's silent, and then the back of the truck opens, sunlight _everywhere._ He was all mad at first, threatening me and all, but I wasn't scared- I _never_ get scared- shut up, Carlos. Anyway, he-" James paused to snort in annoyance- "he called me _Superman._ And then he called me _Batman_. The nerve! That guy... His name was Rich and I hated him. People like that shouldn't be allowed to go out in public. Ugh."

"That was interesting," Kendall commented, picking up the hockey puck and spinning it for a third time. James wondered how it was able to possess such hypnotic powers; he couldn't tear his eyes from it. Apparently it had caught the attention of both Logan and Carlos as well, because the room fell into a short pause of silence.

"What kind of a name is Bandana Man, anyway?" Kendall suddenly asked as he readied the fifth spin. James snapped out of his trance and shot a glare at Kendall.

"_Hey._ Bandana Man is the coolest name you could ever come across- well- besides _James_, of course. But the point is that Bandana Man is genius and you should shut up right now."

"Bandana Man is unoriginal."

"Bandana Man is just like Superman or Spiderman! Just with bandanas, which makes it _awesome._"

"Bandana Man is made of purple bandanas. How is that awesome?"

"How is it not?" James challenged with an edge.

"I'll repeat: Bandana Man is made of _purple bandanas._"

"Bandanas are cool!"

"Bandana Man's not!"

"Bandana Man's awesome!"

"Bandana Man this, Bandana Man that-"

"Bandana Man-"

"Did someone say my name?"

All four heads simultaneously snapped up to the doorway; standing there in all his purple glory was...

"Bandana Man," the four boys chorused in a whisper. The room went deathly silent, all stares being held while comprehension was tested. Everything seemed to shrink into insignificant nothing, and the universe's possibilities were put to the test. No one in the room could adequately describe the feeling that passed through the room at that moment, but to them, it felt like the world had shifted a thousand times in one millisecond.

Paradox of the century.

* * *

_Couldn't leave it at 24 chapters, that's blasphemy. I've had this planned out for so long, you don't even know. Since I was writing chapter 24. Wow. Octoberrrr lololol. Last update, I swear to god, the end forever lolol. I love you all and I hope you learned your lesson. Submitting tonight so that it's all written in the same year, never touching this story again. LOLOL. NO TIIIMMMMEEE okay submitting NOW. SORRY FOR CONFUSING YOU ALL. HAPPY NEW YEAR. THE END._


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